We Are Broken
by KeepMeSafeInside
Summary: Is it possible for two broken people to fix each other? Usually you just stick two pieces together to fix something, so does it work with people? Is it possible for a girl who becomes a hopeless bulimic and a boy who doesn't believe in love to mend each other, or will they just clash and hurt each other more? Can two damaged people ever possibly help each other?
1. Chapter 1

JPOV

When Clary walked into the school today I noticed that her hair was yet again a different color.

She had a tendency to just up and dye her hair any color at the most random of times.

I had asked Isabelle, my adoptive sister, about that at one time. She had told me that Clary just liked to change things up, and didn't want to keep her natural hair color.

Personally I thought her natural color was beautiful.

Clary had these fiery red curls that hung half-way down her back, well she used to that is. Last year she started straightening her hair claiming she hated the curls.

Then Clary went and got her hair cut up to her shoulders. It's going back now, but I don't know how long it is because she refuses to wear it down. Her hair is always up in a bun, pony tail, or a braid.

Seldom is her hair down, and the only reason it would be down is when she's fixing her braid because it got messed up.

Yes, I do notice these things.

Clary is over at my house a lot because she is Isabelle's best friend.

I'm friends with Clary's older brother Jonathon. We're both on the football team together so I'm either at Clary's house or she's at mine, and we run into each other every now and then.

Clary and I aren't friends; we have two different groups completely.

I'm on the football team with my friends Jonathon, Sebastian, and Jordan. We're classified as the popular group.

Clary's group isn't really popular. They're kind of an inclusive group and don't have a lot of people.

For the most part people at school just leave them alone.

She likes to hang out with Maia, who is Jordan's girlfriend, Izzy, Simon, Magnus, and my adopted brother Alec.

I'm not sure why they're so dead set on being loners, but whatever.

Anyways, as of today Clary's hair is now black. She's gone through this faze a few times.

She dies her hair black, then brown, then she'll bleach it blond, or she'll start doing exotic colors.

Our school doesn't really have a rule against hair colors, you just can't have hot pink because it's too distracting or something like that. I don't know, I just remember a girl getting a detention because of it.

Behind Clary was Jonathon who immediately made his way over to our group.

I watched Clary as she headed towards her locker to get out her books. People didn't pay her any attention as she walked over to her locker.

When Jonathon arrived, I clapped him on the back and we all started talking about our football game Friday.

"Dude, is your sister going to be there?" One of the guys asked him.

"Yeah, she will be. She's not really looking forward to it." Jonathon answered.

Clary didn't come to a lot of the football games.

She was the real inclusive one in her group. Clary didn't talk to anybody.

The guys continued talking about the game while I watched as Isabelle and Clary met up across the hall.

"You're sisters kind of hot, Jon." Sebastian said eyeing Clary across the hall.

Jonathon's gaze snapped over to Seb, "Could you not talk about my sister like that?" He snapped.

Sebastian just put his hands in the air, "I'm just saying she's hot dude. Calm down. Has she even had a boyfriend before?"

Jonathon sighed, "No Seb, and she's off limits. You're not going to have a one night fling with my sister."

Sebastian finished eyeing Clary before looking over at Jonathon.

"She's never had a boyfriend?" He asked skeptically.

"No, she's never had a boyfriend."

One of the other guys on the team spoke up, "It's because she's a frigid bitch!" It was a sophomore named Trent who said it, and a few of the guys started laughing.

That probably wasn't the brightest idea they had.

They probably didn't even realize Jon and Clary were siblings; they hardly resembled each other.

Clary was a petite girl, with striking emerald eyes, and pale skin, she was also on the short side.

Jonathon was tall and had a strong build, our summers spent playing football gave him a nice tan, and his hair was white. Jon also had these strange onyx colored eyes.

"Take that back about my sister." Jon growled between clenched teeth.

Trent looked taken a back and stammered, "I- I didn't know she w- was your sister man, so- sorry."

Jonathon just nodded his head and went back to arguing with Seb over her boyfriend "problem".

Jon could be a good older brother to Clary. He had double standards.

When the two of them are home, he likes to pick on her and makes jokes, but that's just an older brother thing right? He most certainly didn't let anybody else talk shit about his sister.

The two of them just had a weird relationship.

The bell rang signaling it was time to go to class.

A lot of the guys groaned; nevertheless, we all started slowly trudging towards are classes.

Jon and I had first period together, so we started heading towards AP World History together.

It was one of the better classes, but I personally just enjoy a good history lesson.

Right now we're learning about WWll.

This is one of my favorite time eras in history. It's interesting, and it's just cool.

Jon and I walked into class and took our seats just as the tardy bell rang signaling it was time to start class.

We waited for a minute before the principal came on over the intercom.

"Please rise with me and say the pledge_. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all._ Now you may all be seated."

We all sat back down at our desks and waited for our teacher to walk in.

Our teacher, Mrs. Garrison, hated teaching. She hated students and hated being here. She has to lock the doors by her room, you know those side entrances, and she always takes ten minutes out of class to do it.

One thing about the pledge that I find interesting is that we used to have a Bellamy salute. Then when World War Two happened we changed it because the Bellamy salute looked like the Nazi salute, thus we now put our hands over our heart.

Jonathon turned to face me while we waited for Mrs. Garrison to come to class.

"So Jace, have you found a girlfriend yet?" Jon smirked at me.

"Nah. I just hooked up with Aline last weekend." I replied nonchalantly.

"You're just not committed man. You need to go find a girl who'll make you change your mind about all these flings you have because I personally get tired of girls crying to me asking why you won't talk to them." Jon said annoyed.

"Like Seb is any better he should be the one getting this talk not me. I'm not trying to tap your sister." I retorted.

"Must you two talk about my sister like that?" Jon said disgustedly.

"Hey man, he started it." I pointed out.

Jon did have a point. I had a tendency to just have a lot of flings.

I didn't believe in all that love shit, so who could blame me?

My parents got divorced when I was younger.

I was eight when it happened. They used to always fight and were constantly at each other's throats. I used to be up until two in the morning listening to them screaming and throwing things in the kitchen.

My dad was a bad alcoholic, and he had anger issues so when he was drunk he liked to pick fights with my mom.

I remember the night that ended it between the two of them.

_-Flashback-_

"_Where's daddy?" I asked while finishing up my spaghetti at the dinner table. _

_My mom had her back turned to me washing the dishes, "I don't know sweetie. He'll be home soon though." She told me sweetly. _

_Finishing my spaghetti I got up and walked over to the sink handing her my plate, it was eight, we had waited until dad got home to eat, but eventually ate without him. _

"_Can I stay up to say goodnight to daddy?" I asked looking up at my mom with wide eyes. _

"_No sweetie." She said ruffling my hair a little, "When he comes in I'll send him up to your room to say goodnight." _

"_But mom" I whined._

"_No, Jace, you need to go to your room and get some shut eye for school tomorrow." _

"_I don't wanna." I frowned up at her. _

"_Tell you what. You can sit at the table for another half hour and if he's not home by then you'll go to bed, okay?" She negotiated with me while continuing to do the dishes. _

_I agreed. I was pleased with the idea of staying up a half an hour later. _

_Silently I sat down at the table while mother finished up the dishes. _

_Once she was done she got me a glass of milk and sat down with me. _

_We didn't say anything, just sat together quietly. _

_Just as I was finishing my glass of milk the door opened and a bad smell floated into the kitchen. _

_I didn't like the smell and wrinkled my nose up in disgust. _

_My mother's eyes became distraught, "Jace I need you to go to your room right now." She said standing up._

"_Why? I wanna say goodnight to daddy." I looked at her in confusion. _

"_Not tonight, Jace." _

_She walked over to where I was sitting and pulled my chair out from the table. She picked me up and set me down instructing me to go upstairs to my bedroom. _

_I walked out of the kitchen and over to the stairs; however, I didn't go up them like instructed. _

_Instead I sat at the bottom of the stairs waiting for my dad to get in the kitchen. _

"_Celine?" He slurred. _

_When he came into my line of sight his was wobbling, unstable on his own two feet. _

"_Where the hell have you been?" My mother demanded her hands on her hips. _

"_I had things to do." My dad griped out. _

"_What kind of things?" Mommy snapped out. _

"_Don't you dare question me Celine." Dad growled. _

"_I'm tired of this Stephen!" Mom stepped closer to dad, "You're cheating on me?" Her outraged cry sounded loudly and hauntingly. _

_At the time I didn't know what cheating was and was ultimately confused. _

_Dad didn't say anything and turned around to walk away. _

"_How long has this been going on?" Mommy whispered, "Why are we even still together if you don't want to be with me?" She asked louder. _

"_We have a child, Celine!" Daddy shouted. _

"_So? That doesn't give you a damn right to cheat on me!" Mom yelled back. _

_They went back and forth about this. I was confused and got a headache. _

_Silently, I stood up and made my way up to my room. _

_There shouting beginning to scare me. _

_They had been fighting a lot recently and I was worried of what would come because of their fighting. _

_I went to bed with their yells echoing throughout the house and into my dreams. _

_When I woke up in the morning, mom grabbed my hand and told me we were leaving. _

_We walked down stairs and dad was there with a grave expression plastered to his face. _

"_Aren't you coming with us?" I asked looking between my parents confusedly. _

"_No Jace I'm not." Dad had his hands behind his back and was standing up straight. _

"_Why not?" I asked tears forming in my eyes, "Are we coming back mommy?" I asked my head snapping up to her. _

"_No honey we're not, so say goodbye to your dad." _

"_You'll see me again soon Jace." Dad said to me sweetly. _

"_No he won't." Mom said bitterly. _

"_You can' just keep me from my own damn flesh and blood Celine!" Dad roared. _

"_Come on Jace, we're leaving." Mom started to pull on my hand, but I tugged it out of her grip running to my dad. _

_Tears of confusion were falling down my face._

_Dad bent down onto his knees to meet me in an embrace. _

"_Men don't cry son" he said quietly as brushed the stray tears off me face. He proceeded to hug, "Remember son 'to love is to destroy; and to be loved is to be destroyed'" he whispered in my ear before pulling back and glancing over my shoulder at mommy, "you be a good boy Jace." He said sternly. _

_I nodded my head and walked back to mommy, and left my dad never turning back._

_-End of Flashback-_

I haven't told anyone what really happened with my parents.

My dad's words still haunt me to this day though, and I believe them one hundred percent which is why I'll never get to close to anybody.

'_To love is to destroy; and to be loved is to be destroyed.'_

* * *

><p><strong>Here's my second fanfic. <strong>

**I hope you guys like it, it's kind of weird to be writing in a different style now. Haha. I'm not sure how much I like it. **

**Well, enjoy. (:**


	2. Chapter 2

CPOV

Have you ever just looked at people and felt a sense of longing?

I have found myself doing that a lot more lately.

Just wishing that I could be someone else, to understand the feelings of someone else.

When I walked into school this morning my eyes fell on a guy in the eleventh grade hanging out with this girl named Amy. (The guy's name is Wesley.)

As I walked to my locker my eyes fell upon them as they joked around and nudged each other playfully with their shoulders. They seemed so carefree and happy.

It was weird, yet I wanted to be able to feel like that.

Wesley picked up Amy's hand and kissed the back of her knuckles, and then she did the same to him.

I could never understand how people found happiness in each other. It was a weird thing, yet looking at the two right now it made me want to try that.

Not that I would ever be able to find someone who'd actually want to be with me.

I'm the outcast of the school, not that I mind it, I prefer my reclusiveness to everybody being in my space.

Jon was the exact opposite on that matter. He was always hooking up with someone, always knowing what was going on with everyone, always having everyone know what was going on with him.

It was bothersome. I absolutely loathed attention while he adored it.

A peel of laughter snapped me out of my thoughts and I glanced back over at Wesley and Amy. He had his arms wrapped around her waist, and he was tickling her while she fought to get out of his grasp.

I quickly diverted my eyes and continued on my way to my locker no longer wanting to watch them, and see them so happy.

People didn't acknowledge me really, but they moved out of my way when they walked down the hall.

That was just fine with me too. Pointless was babble was just that: pointless. I have never truly been able to understand why people engage in such a thing.

As soon as Jon and I had entered the school he made a bee line for the "team" as he liked to refer to them.

I stole a glance over there to see them all talking animatedly and smiling. Jon was talking to Sebastian while Jace just looked at them with a straight face. He never really seemed all that serious to me.

Shrugging my shoulders I opened my locker to start getting my books for first hour.

Just as I was closing my locker Isabelle strutted up to me flicking her hair over one shoulder.

"Hey Clare. You dye your hair again?" Isabelle asked.

"No shit Sherlock." I responded monotonously.

"That was meant as a statement." Isabelle retorted quickly.

"Sure, it was." I muttered under my breath too low for her to hear.

"You ready for class?" She asked unfazed by the unheard accusation I made.

"When am I ever ready for class? I'd prefer to be at home." I answered dryly.

I used to like school.

I used to never understand how people could simply hate school when there was nothing wrong with it.

Then I began to understand it.

People didn't hate school because of the schoolwork they had to, partly because of how early they had to wake up, but mainly because the people suck.

Teachers will always tell you that if you're being bullied that you should them because they'll do something about it.

Hell no they don't.

It sucks to go to school to have to deal with people bullying you.

That's why I think people hate school: it's emotionally exhausting.

When I was young, I used to never understand why people would become recluses.

Now that I'm here I can understand perfectly why they would want to get out of a corrupted society.

The real question now is who wouldn't?

The people who fit in that's who.

I've never fit in anywhere though. I'm always just sort of there. People don't think twice about if I'm okay or not, they don't really care about my preferences.

Sure we can all joke and have fun, but when it comes down to personal emotional things my feelings don't really matter that much. I just need to keep them to myself because no one will do anything to try and make me feel otherwise.

"Come on, let's go to science." Isabelle said happily.

I nodded and we walked to class slowly.

Isabelle babbled on about this new hot guy she found on Youtube, so I just tuned her out.

I wasn't really in the mood for listening to more guy talk with Isabelle.

Lately, I haven't really been in the mood for anything. I've just been wanting to go curl up in my room and be left alone, but that wasn't going to happen.

For reasons unknown to me I just really wasn't in it this week.

My temper was beginning to run short with people, and I just wanted to be secluded.

Sometimes solitude is a good thing.

Science class was okay. It wasn't one of my favorites, I disliked most the people, but I was really good with biology so it was an easy class to get a good grade in.

I tuned out the teacher as he droned on about some stupid project we'd be doing this week at some point.

Honestly I couldn't care less what we do.

Home wasn't particularly where I wanted to go either. I just wanted a place away from everyone.

Everyone needs their space at some point right?

Why can't we have that space then? Instead we're forced to socialize due to this boring task called school.

How the hell some people are failing, I don't know.

Especially since I don't really listen in any class except math because math is a bitch.

As the bell rang to signal the end of the period I slowly put my binder in my backpack and stood up from my desk.

Most people had either vacated or were congregating in the back of the classroom for as long as they could.

I smiled at my teacher and said I quiet goodbye making my way to English.

We were reading To Kill A Mockingbird in this class and we were almost done with it. I had finished it last week because I had wanted to know what exactly was going to happen.

I wasn't the biggest reader, but I also didn't loathe it.

Art was more of my thing than reading, so art has always been higher on my priority list as opposed to reading.

I was taking a seat at the front of the classroom when Jon's friend Jace Herondale walked in.

Jace was also on the football team, and he was Izzy's brother. We never really talked a lot and I got this cold shoulder vibe from him.

I'd be a hypocrite though if I said I didn't give that vibe off most of the time.

He walked right past my seat without a glance, and sat in his usual seat in the back of the classroom more than likely texting Jon or one of his many whores.

Turning my focus back to the front of the classroom I waited for the rest of them to file in.

I didn't have this class with any of my friends. Most my classes were spent by myself, it was only first period that I had with any of my friends.

My friends were: Isabelle Lightwood, Magnus Bane, Simon Lewis, Maia Roberts, and Alec Lightwood.

Isabelle and Alec are siblings, and the resemblance between the two is absolutely striking. Even if you didn't know the two personally you could tell that they were related.

Magnus was openly gay while Alec was shyer of the topic. I can understand where he was coming from with all the judgmental bastards out there. The two of them are dating, and even though they seemed as an odd pair they have a really good relationship.

Their personalities balance each other perfectly.

Then Isabelle and Simon would flirt back and forth. I don't think they really liked each other they just seemed to like flirting, but hell if I know anything.

Maia was dating Jordan who was on the football team. She and I weren't the best of friends. She was more of Izzy's friend and I was just kind of there.

Izzy told me that Maia was just jealous that I got along with her better since those two have been friends forever.

Apparently Maia thinks I'm going to be replacing her, or something to that extent.

The very idea makes me scoff. I'm not replacing anyone. I'm simply the fill in, or someone to rant to, or someone who can lighten moods most of the time.

Because of Maia's opinions on me, she's kind of bitchy towards me most of the time.

Don't get me wrong she does have her pleasant moments with me, but for the most part she just rolls her eyes at me and ignores me.

I'm down with that; if only it weren't for the fact that when it's just the three of us it can get awkward as hell.

Jordan seemed like a nice enough guy though. They had a good solid relationship, so good for them.

Simon has been my best friend since we were three.

Nobody has ever really replaced the other. We respect each other to much for that, and we care too much to let that happen.

However, as we've been getting further along with our lives I feel like we've been drifting apart. He's becoming less of the protective and sensitive Simon I used to know.

Maybe that's just me though.

I've been drifting from all of my friends lately and I'm not sure why.

It's at the point where I don't really talk to them as much as I used to. The way that they've been treating me lately I guess is what's been getting to me.

It hurts, a lot.

I closed my eyes briefly and then opened them again.

Turning around in my seat to check how full the rest of the classroom was I noticed Jace staring at me with an unreadable expression on his face.

Glaring at him I flipped him off before turning in my chair again to face the front of the classroom.

The students who liked to come in just before the tardy bell were quickly hurrying to their desks before the teacher walked in.

Why they couldn't just arrive to class on time like normal students? I had no idea, but it's their lives and they can do whatever they want with it I suppose.

As the tardy bell rang our teacher walked in and we began a class discussion on the reading assignment last night.

I listened mutely, rarely did I ever attribute to these conversations.

I didn't like people getting close to me, and I felt like my thoughts could give too much away of who I truly was.

Sure that doesn't make a lot of sense, but to me it does and that is what matters.

People left me alone because they feared me. At least from what I understood they did.

It didn't bother me as long as I didn't have to deal with them, so I let them believe what they want.

If I spoke my thoughts allowed to the class then they would be able to know what I was thinking, and how I felt which was something that I didn't want people to know was. They can all stay the hell out of my head.

Maybe I'm paranoid, but whatever.

The hours were moving by swiftly and before I knew it lunch was in five minutes.

A lot of people looked forward to lunch, right?

I didn't. Lunch was one of my least favorite things.

Sitting in class I silently willed the clock to slow down, but of course it didn't and five minutes later the bell rang.

As soon as it did kids were running out to get to lunch and chat with their friends for the next forty minutes.

Slowly I gathered my belongings and began walking towards the cafeteria.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry it took me a while to update. Things got really busy all of a sudden, and I've not been home. <strong>

**This chapter was kind of eh, sorry for that too. I promise it'll get better next chapter. **


	3. Chapter 3

CPOV

Walking into the cafeteria with my head down I silently made my way over to my table.

When I got there everyone else was already there.

Apart from the "Hey babe" I received from Izzy I was practically unnoticed.

I had brought my lunch today, but simply set it on the table in front of me, and stared at it while everyone continued chatting with each other.

The tables in our cafeteria were long rectangles, and they were placed evenly throughout the cafeteria.

We had a stage, for whatever reason, and on it sat more rectangular tables where we were allowed to sit.

The way my table sat was Izzy in the furthest corner with Maia right beside her on her right. Simon typically sat across from Izzy and I sat to his right. On my other side, my left, sat Alec. Across from Alec sat Magnus.

We sat in this arrangement every day.

Magnus had finished his lunch and was just quietly talking with Alec. It would be okay for a moment, but I knew what was coming next.

I closed my eyes briefly and waited.

Once I opened my eyes, Magnus was looking at me, "Hey Clary." He said reaching over and grabbing my lunch.

"You're such a cow!" He said as he began eating a bag of Cheetos out of my lunch.

I looked over at Simon silently pleading with him to say something to Magnus, but instead he just looked at me and asked, "What?"

Begging with my eyes for Simon to see I answered, "Magnus just called me a cow."

Simon looked at me for a moment before laughing. Then when I thought it wouldn't get worse he started mooing at me like I actually _was_ a cow.

I looked at Simon with disbelief on my face.

Lately I had been having issues with my weight, and I wasn't anorexic or anything just self-conscious, and Simon knew that.

Was I an idiot to believe that maybe he'd actually stick up for me?

Izzy and Maia sat by each other and continued to eat their lunch as if the whole thing wasn't happening.

When I looked at Alec he just looked away from me.

"Hey, fat ass." Magnus called.

I looked up at him and waited.

"You're a bitch."

I just stared at him while everyone else continued chatting seeing nothing wrong with what was happening.

Maia and Magnus used to take pictures of me while I was eating. They used to send them to each other and poke fun at me, I stopped eating lunch at school after that.

I couldn't find the point of eating, and then being picked on. Why put myself through more pain than I should, right?

Nobody ever sees anything wrong with it either. I remember when it first started and I talked to Izzy about it.

-_Flashback-_

_It was a cool October day and Izzy was sitting the courtyard with me while she ate her lunch. _

"_Do you see anything wrong with the way Magnus and Maia are treating me?" I asked softly keeping my eyes downcast. _

_Izzy stopped eating, and I hesitantly looked up at her to see that she was staring at me with this face like I was ridiculous._

"_What?" I asked hesitantly, biting my bottom lip. _

"_They're just messing around with you Clare. They aren't doing anything wrong to you. It's fine." She said firmly evidently seeing nothing wrong with it. _

_We sat in a tense silence while she continued to eat her lunch. _

_Silently I stood up to go and ask Simon. _

_He was in the library working on some science project he would be presenting next period. _

_I made my way over to Simon taking a seat next to him as he scribbled down some notes furiously. _

_When I pulled the chair up he glanced up quickly and cast me a small smile. _

"_Hey, Si." I said glumly as I sat down. _

"_What's up Clary?" He asked not stopping from his work. _

_After a moment of silent debating whether I should Simon or not I asked, "Do you think it's okay the way Magnus and Maia have been treating me?" _

_Simon glanced up at me quickly before returning his gaze onto his book. _

_I began to worry my bottom lip as I waited for Simon to answer the question._

_He finished writing the sentence he was on before pushing his notes and book away, folding his hands neatly on the table, he looked at me. _

_Then he spoke up, "I think that they're just messing with you Clary." He said quietly. _

_Continuing to worry my lower lip I nodded mutely. _

_Simon placed one of his large hands over mine, "Don't let what they say bother you Clary. I'm sure they don't mean to hurt your feelings." _

_Looking up from our hands to meet his gaze I answered, "But it does, Si. You've seen the way Jon treats me, and then they just make it that much worse. I'm starting to really believe them, that I am just a fatass." I said monotonously. _

_Simon squeezed my hand reassuringly, "You're not Clary. Just ignore them." _

_He patted my hand before returning to his note taking, and pushing his glasses up into their place on his nose._

_I left him just as quietly as I joined him. _

_-End of Flashback-_

I never said anything to Alec knowing full well that he'd be more inclined to take his boyfriend's side over mine.

That was last year when it started.

After that I began dying my hair, trying to get them to notice. I did a lot.

I wasn't going to go up to them and say that I needed help because if they were my friends and truly cared wouldn't they notice that I was in pain?

I think they should.

That's what friends are for. Friends are to notice your pain and help you get better from it, but they just kept pushing me away.

Why should I not just ditch them as friends all together?

There's not really a good answer as to why I let them do this to me.

"Hey bitch!" Magnus hollered at me.

My head snapped to him and I glared, "Would you stop being such a dick?" I growled out.

"God, calm the fuck down. I was just messing with you. Jesus." He muttered under his breath.

I huffed and slammed my hands on the table standing up and leaving.

Alec was a nice person, he was a good friend of mine, but by now he was the only reason why Magnus ate lunch with us.

Magnus grated my last nerves until I couldn't stand it anymore.

As I turned and made my way out of the cafeteria and headed out to the court yard his words began to bounce around in my head on endless repeat.

Try as I might I wasn't able to block out the hurtful words of my supposed friend.

I walked over to a tree that was in the courtyard and sat down waiting for the bell to ring to dismiss me from my lunch.

* * *

><p><span>JPOV<span>

Sitting in English I was texting Jon about the game Friday night when I noticed Clary sitting in the front row of the classroom.

She had this expression on that looked like she was hurting, or at least deep in thought.

No longer paying attention to my phone I stared at Clary and tried to figure out what could be bothering her.

All of a sudden she seemed to snap out of it and began looking around the rest of the classroom.

When her gaze landed on me she gave me a glare for whatever reason.

Then her middle finger was stuck out flipping me off.

I was about to raise my arms to say 'what did I do?' when she turned around and began to watch the rest of the students file in to the room.

What did I do though?

While the teacher talked I stared at Clary hoping she'd turn around, so I could ask her what I did to deserve being flipped off.

Much to my disappointment the redhead didn't turn around once.

When the bell rang signaling for lunch I quickly hurried out of the room to wait by the door for Clary to come out. Once the crowd passed and I didn't see Clary I assumed she slipped out and was making her way to the cafeteria.

Feeling slightly disappointed I made my way to the cafeteria.

I didn't really know Jon's sister, but I could always tell that there was something going on in that pretty little head of hers.

She had some kind of secret that no one seemed to know about.

Personally, I never asked, but it appeared that nobody else did either because she kept it all in.

Maybe I could tell because I had secrets of my own that I kept in.

Was it possible that when you felt a certain pain you could sense when someone else was feeling a certain pain?

Maybe I'm just crazy.

Grabbing lunch I made my way over to my table with Jon and Sebastian.

When I sat down they were talking about some hot girls they saw in the hall.

I scoffed, rolling my eyes as they continued talking about them.

While I ate, I wasn't really paying attention to their conversation; however, one thing Jon did say managed to catch my attention.

"Hell no, Seb. Back off." Jon said gruffly.

Not exactly sure what they were talking about I decided to pay a little more attention to the two of them.

"Why not?" Seb asked gruffly.

"Because you're not going to fuck my sister, Seb, damn!" Jon slammed his hand down on the table making a few people jump.

So Seb was still going on about dating Clary.

Why did he suddenly care so much for her anyways?

"Come on man, no guy in this school has dated her before and she's hot." Sebastian smirked at the last part.

That's what it was about.

Sebastian didn't like Clary he just wanted to claim her before somebody else could.

Seb's feelings were completely objective towards the small redhead.

As they continued arguing over Clary I found my gaze wandering over to where she was sitting.

Magnus and Simon appeared to be howling with laughter about something that must have been funny, or not so funny as much as idiotic in their case.

Izzy just looked away while Maia had a smug look on her face.

Alec was just sitting there while Clary looked between them biting her bottom lip.

Magnus and Simon's laughing fit seemed to stop, and they all continued on with their lunch.

That's when I noticed Clary wasn't eating anything.

She was just gazing down at the table when Magnus said something and her head snapped up to meet his gaze.

I presumed she was yelling at Magnus for something.

The other occupants of their table quieted while Clary snapped something out.

Magnus looked pissed and responded to whatever Clary had said to him.

Just like Jon had a few minutes ago she slammed her hands down on the table.

She stood up suddenly and hurriedly made her way out of the cafeteria.

Izzy and Simon stared at each other while Alec stared down at his lap pretending to not have seen the dispute that just surrounded him.

Maia looked unfazed as she continued eating, and Magnus still looked pissed off.

None of them got up to see what had just happened with Clary and just continued eating in what appeared to be silence from where I was.

Suddenly done with my lunch I grabbed my tray and headed towards the trash can to through away my garbage and put my tray up to be washed.

I walked by Izzy's table to hear Magnus talking.

"She was just being a bitch. She's so moody." He said bitterly.

Izzy bit her lip, and everyone ignored what Magnus said.

Izzy and Maia talked quietly while Alec and Simon glanced at each other every so often.

After placing my tray up I slowly headed out of the cafeteria, and into the courtyard to try and find Clary to ask her what happened at her table.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm actually updating soon! Isn't that amazing? Well this month is going to be kicking my ass. I'm really busy, so next month my updates will be more often, promise. <strong>

**Here's Chapter three I hope you guys like it. **

**Give me feedback: anything that didn't make sense, what I could do to improve, things I've done good with, that way I can construct my writing better. I'd appreciate that. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

JPOV

I headed out to the courtyard to start my look for Clary.

The only two logical places I could think of for her to be was either here or in the library unless she really wanted to be alone and hid herself in the girls bathrooms.

In the courtyard a lot of students were finishing their lunches, or standing around talking to their friends waiting for the bell to ring before heading back to class.

At first glance I didn't see Clary, and I began to walk around the courtyard to try and find the small redhead.

I couldn't see her anywhere and was just about to head to the library to see if she was there when I saw her slightly hidden out of sight by a tree.

Hesitantly I walked over to where she was sitting, and stood beside her.

She didn't acknowledge me when I walked over to her; she sat there staring at the brick wall that was about seven feet in front of her.

Silently I stood there waiting for her to acknowledge me.

When Clary didn't acknowledge my presence, I nudged her lightly with my foot.

"Piss off." She growled out.

"What's got you so pissed off Red?" I asked her.

Clary's head snapped up to meet my gaze with a harsh glare.

"I said: Piss. Off." She growled once more enunciating each word.

"What happened at your lunch table?" I asked her bending my knees so I was crouched in front of her.

"Piss of Wayland." Clary growled once again.

"Surely it couldn't have been that bad." I tried reasoning with her.

She turned her head away from me and continued to stare at the wall in front of her.

Sighing I moved and sat cross legged between her and the wall.

When I got in her line of site she began glaring once more.

"What could they have done to piss you off this much?" I probed folding my hands together in my lap.

"What's it matter to you?" She snapped pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs.

I was taken aback by this question.

What was I supposed to tell her?

Now that attention has been called to it I don't really know why I care so much about what happened with her at lunch.

"Your Jon's sister. OF course it matters to me." I reasoned.

Was that really it? Sure, I was supposed to care about her because she was Jon's sister; she was also Izzy's best friend.

It's a good enough reason is it not?

"Shouldn't you be eating lunch with him right now?" She huffed trying ineffectively to turn the focus of the conversation to something else.

"Don't try and change the subject Clary, what's up?"

"Why don't you ask your sister?" She snapped puffing out her cheeks.

"Because you're the one that's upset not Iz." I told her.

"Well it doesn't matter. You can go ask any of them and they'll tell you the same thing! It doesn't matter, and I am simply over reacting!" Clary threw her hands up in the air in frustration before they fell limply to her sides.

"If it upset you then it obviously meant something." I tried.

"It doesn't matter Wayland." She snapped out.

The bell rang just then before I could reply, and she swiftly stood up leaving me alone by the tree.

Slowly I stood up and began making my way towards my own classes.

On my way into the school I bumped into Sebastian who had a shit eating grin on.

"What's got you so happy?" I asked quizzically.

"Jon just agreed to let me ask Clary to the party after the game Friday." Sebastian boasted sticking his hand out in a fist for me to fist bump.

Why did Jon just let Seb go and ask Clary out?

He seemed so adamant earlier that we weren't going to be dating his sister anytime soon.

Maybe Sebastian was just more persuasive than I thought he was.

"Well, I take it you haven't asked her then?" I questioned hesitantly since I had just been with Clary.

"Nah, man I'll be asking her before school's out that's for sure. I'll be the first to date her." Sebastian said smugly.

"What makes you so sure she'll say yes?" I challenged sounding harsher than I meant to.

Sebastian just smirked at me before shaking his head, "I have my ways."

Once that was said, he walked away leaving me to ponder over what he said.

I stared after his retreating form for a minute before shaking my head and turning to head to my classes.

* * *

><p><span>CPOV<span>

As soon as the bell rang I launched myself from the spot where I sat while Jace questioned me.

It wasn't really any of his damn business whether my friends were being mean or not.

Since when has Jace ever cared anyways?

Never, I thought bitterly, no one's cared ever.

I pushed my way down the hall, and headed towards P.E. to do absolutely nothing.

This was one of the dumbest classes because we did absolutely nothing.

Why should we get college credit for sitting around on our asses for an hour anyways?

Yes, I am complaining about P.E..

I hear band kids complain about it in the hall every now and then.

Apparently their director is too much of a douche to go and get a degree in Physical Education so the band kids have to march as well as take P.E. which makes no sense because they do a hell of a lot more in marching band than we do in P.E.

I also had a really sexist P.E. teacher though.

He always made the guys do things while the girls rarely ever had to do anything.

Then there were always those people in P.E. who complained about 'how there is no way they're fatass is getting up off the floor to actually do stuff' because they're simply lazy.

Walking half a mile in an hour isn't going to kill anyone. Damn.

I dropped my bag on the floor by the wall while coach Rhea began taking roll.

Once he was finished he said, "We're going to be going out to the track and boys you'll be playing super Frisbee while the girls walk around the track at least two times."

The guys got pumped, as per usual, as we all began walking down to the track.

A group of popular girls in front of me started groaning.

"Why do we have to walk two laps anyways? Is so much work!" Kaelie complained in a high pitched voice.

"Yeah, stupid ass teacher." Seelie muttered under her breath.

"Damn guys, it's two fucking laps. Could you do us all a favor and shut the hell up about it?" I snapped irritated as I brushed past them.

"Somebody's being a bitch today." Kaelie shouted.

I turned around and glared at her.

"Got a problem Clary?" Kaelie then asked sweetly.

"Yes, I do. I have this allergy to bitches who complain." I said as innocently as possible.

That being said I turned on my heel and jogged the rest of the way to the track where our class already was.

Once I reached the track I slowed my jog down to a walk.

People are really pissing me off lately.

* * *

><p>The rest of the hour went by uneventfully, and I soon found myself walking out of school for the day.<p>

As I began walking to Jon's white blazer I heard my name being called from behind me.

Rolling my eyes I turned around and saw Sebastian running up to me. I crossed me arms over my chest as I waited impatiently for him to catch up to me.

"Clary." He said panting slightly.

I don't blame him: it's a mess trying to get out of that hell.

"What do you want? Shouldn't you be hanging out with Jon while I die of boredom in his car waiting on your lazy asses?" I snapped at him.

I've never really talked to Sebastian, ever.

I've spoken with Jace whenever we happen to bump into each other at one another's house, but I've never had a full on conversation with him; just pleasantries.

Sebastian on the other hand always ignores me when we bump into each other.

Don't get me wrong that's perfectly fine with me, I never really liked him much anyways.

I waited skeptically for him to answer.

He appeared to be weighing his next words in his head before he opened his mouth to say anything to me.

As he opened his mouth though Jon walked up to us soon followed by Jace, and they both gave him expectant looks.

"Well?" Jon probed while Jace stood behind him smirking at me.

I glowered at him in return.

"I was just about to ask." Sebastian said defensively.

"Then do it." Jon taunted, "I know she'll say no." Jon then got a smug look on his face.

What was I supposed to say no to? Maybe I'll say yes just to piss Jon off.

"Clary," Sebastian began, "This Friday there's going to be a part after the football game-" I cut him off.

"No fucking way, I never knew they did that." I said as sarcastically as possible.

Jace chuckled quietly behind Sebastian while Jon's smirk grew even bigger.

Sebastian huffed and continued speaking, "Anyways, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the party with me."

The way said it sounded more so like a command than a question and I looked between the three boys.

Jace shot Sebastian a quick glare, but then turned his gaze to me expectantly.

Sebastian looked as if my answer had already been made, and then Jon burst out into laughter.

"There's no way she's going to say yes, man." Jon said rather loudly causing a few people to turn their gazes to us before hurrying to their cars, or waiting for their busses.

Jon clapped Sebastian on the shoulder and turned to begin walking away.

That's it, my mind was made up.

"I'd love to go to the party with you Seb." I answered giving him a small smile.

Jon stopped walking and turned around abruptly. Jace was glaring at Sebastian who was just smirking over my shoulder at Jon.

Sebastian didn't like me, I wasn't naïve. He was just messing with Jon and it was obvious to me.

"Cool, babe. It's a date." Seb responded smugly.

"This is a one night thing is it not?" I asked as he turned to walk away.

He turned around and cocked an eyebrow at me, "Don't you want to be my girlfriend Clary?"

Um, hell no, "Is that you're way of asking?" I responded dryly.

"Yes, Clare, it is." He walked back over to me while Jon and Jace stood where they were.

"Fine." I replied evenly raising my eyebrows at him.

"And I thought you said she'd say no." Sebastian said to Jon.

"Because I thought she would be smart enough to say no." Jon answered venomously.

Whoa Jon calm down. It's just to piss you off.

"Well, now she's my girlfriend." Sebastian told him victoriously.

"I'm not a damn prize Seb, wipe that smirk from your face." I told him sternly, "You'd better treat me with some respect."

Sebastian looked shocked for a moment that I would talk to him that way before putting a smile back on his face.

"Sure thing babe." He draped an arm around my shoulder which I shrugged off.

He stared at me in confusion.

"Keep your hands to yourself, I don't know where they've been, nor do I want to." I told him with a glare.

Just gave a small smirk at Sebastian's back, and I gave him a confused look.

"Are we going home now Jon?" I questioned turning around to face him.

His jaw was on the ground and staring at me in shock.

"Yeah, let's go." He said hastily and turned to start towards the blazer.

I began following him when Sebastian grabbed my arm and turned me around.

He pulled me straight to his chest and wrapped his arms around me.

"See you babe." He said pulling away.

He leaned forward and kissed me cheek.

There were a few people staring at us in amazement at what had just happened and I glared at all of them in return.

"Bye Seb." I muttered turning around and walking to the car.

Jace followed me and I turned around to ask him what he was doing.

Before I opened my mouth he answered, "I'm going over to your house to hang out with Jon."

"Whatever." I muttered.

I didn't want to go home, and I certainly didn't want Jace coming home with us; but maybe Jon would leave me alone if Jace was here today.

That thought gave me a little hope as I silently got into the shotgun seat and Jon began driving us to one of my other personal hell.

* * *

><p><strong>So how are you guys liking it so far? I'm not really getting feed back, so I'm not sure what to think right now. If you like it let me know, if you hate it let me know. I just want some feedback. <strong>

**If anybody can think of a better summary would you let me know? I honestly hate my summary, but for the life of me cannot think of a good one.**


	5. Chapter 5

CPOV

The first few minutes of the car ride were silent before Jon broke it.

I was staring out my window watching the scenery go by when Jon slammed his hand on the steering wheel causing me to jump.

My head snapped towards him as he began to yell.

"What the hell Clary? I thought you would be smart enough to fucking say no!"

"You can't control me, or what I do with my life Jon." I snapped back crossing my arms over my chest.

"Sebastian is a player and he's just going to hurt you!" Jon shouted angrily.

"Well did you ask your permission first?" I cocked my head to the side and glared at him.

Jon sat silently for a moment. He glanced at me swiftly before looking back out at the road.

"You gave him your damn permission to ask me out so don't you dare blow up on me!" I shouted glaring at him.

"You were supposed to say no." Jon said firmly.

"Well that's your problem now isn't it?" I shot back turning around to look out the window again.

"Quit being such a bitch Clary. Damn." Jon muttered.

I ignored him and continued to stare out the window waiting until we got home silently willing for the ride to go faster.

"Why'd you say yes?" I was slightly startled by the sound of another voice.

In my seat I turned around to face Jace. He'd been so quiet that I forgot he was there.

"Why wouldn't I?" I retorted.

"Well for one thing Sebastian is one of the biggest players at school." Jace explained in a duh tone glaring at me.

"Oh yeah, he's third and falls right under you and Jon how could I possibly forget?" I said sarcastically while rolling my eyes and turned around in my seat.

After that they kept their mouths shut.

The last few minutes to the house was spent in a tense silence with none of us speaking.

As soon as Jon pulled into the driveway and stopped the car I quickly got out of the passenger seat shutting to door behind me and heading into the house.

I ran up to my room and dumped my bag on the floor before sitting on my bed.

Minutes later I could hear two sets of footsteps walking up the stairs and into Jonathon's room.

Once I heard the door close I went downstairs and headed to the kitchen.

I walked over to the cabinets and got two slices of bread then pulled out the peanut butter and a butter knife.

When I was done making my sandwich I put the butter knife in the sink and stuck the peanut butter up again.

I hopped up to sit on the counter while I ate.

I hadn't eaten breakfast because breakfast killed my stomach and then I didn't eat lunch because I had hoped it would stop the harassment which it didn't.

After I finished my sandwich I pulled myself a bowl of Cheerios and began eating that as well.

I was about halfway through the bowl of Cheerios when Jonathon came into the kitchen closely followed by none other than Jace.

"Hey fatass, I knew you'd be down here. Why do you always eat so much after school?" Jonathon sneered as he walked to the fridge and grabbed a can of mountain dew for himself and Jace.

Slowly I started to feel less hungry.

"I'm hungry after school, is that so bad?" I snapped setting my bowl down.

"You eat a ton when we get home." Jon countered.

Jace silently stood by Jon and watched our banter.

"I'm not fat!" I shouted.

"Maybe you should just lay off the snacks Clare." Jon chuckled walking back upstairs.

Jace stayed behind and stared at me.

"Go to hell and leave me the fuck alone!" I growled out when he opened his mouth to say something to me.

Jace closed it, and turned to begin walking back upstairs to Jonathon's room.

When he was at the base of the stairs he turned around to look at me one more time before actually ascending the steps.

Angry tears began falling out from my eyes and I rubbed them away irritably.

I slammed my bowl into the sink and I stomped to the bathroom.

Why do people always tell me that I'm fat? Is it true that I should lose weight?

I stepped on the scale and then got off so it could turn on.

Once it was on I stepped on again, but this time I stayed on it as it took my weight.

I watched as the red line became a number.

A number I used to be fine with, but suddenly wasn't so sure about it anymore.

Quickly I stepped off the scale not wanting to see the number in bright red numbers any longer.

I turned around and looked in the mirror.

What I saw was a girl with dull green eyes who needed to lose weight. She was too big.

No longer wanting to stare at my reflection I backed up out of the bathroom and quietly went back into my bedroom.

I guess everyone was right.

I am a fatass who needs to lose weight.

Sighing I sat down on the edge of the bed and stared blankly at the wall in front of me.

* * *

><p><span>JPOV<span>

Clary said yes to Sebastian.

It wasn't going to last.

He was one of the biggest players, and love didn't actually exist.

Maybe Clary liked him, but he didn't like her.

Why was I so pissed about this?

The smug look on Sebastian's face made me want to punch him when Clary said yes.

Jonathon looked pretty shocked when Clary said yes; I don't blame him because I was pretty surprised myself, but then I got pissed off.

Jon and Clary were arguing in the front of the car.

I pulled myself out of my thoughts and listened to their banter, but one question kept running through my head repeatedly.

"Why'd you say yes?"

I hadn't realized that I'd actually said it until Clary's slightly shocked face turned around to me.

"Why wouldn't I?" Clary questioned defensively.

"Well for one thing Sebastian is one of the biggest players at school." I glared at her. Why was I so pissed off about this?

"Oh yeah, he's third and falls right under you and Jon how could I possibly forget?" Clary's tone was very sarcastic as she rolled her eyes and turned around in her seat.

I opened my mouth to respond, but couldn't think of anything to say back to her. What she said was true: Jon, Sebastian, and I were the biggest players in the school so neither of us really did have a right to be yelling at her about her choice to date Seb.

If anything though it is Jon's fault because Sebastian asked him if he could date her, and he said yes because he's a dumbass.

Maybe if Jon hadn't said anything about her saying no she wouldn't have agreed to go out with Sebastian, but Jon just had to open his mouth.

When we pulled to a stop in their driveway Clary shot out of the car and went into the house without so much as a glance towards either of us.

Jon and I took our time getting out of the Blazer and walking into the house.

We didn't say much as we walked up the stairs into his room.

As we passed Clary's room I noticed that the door was shut.

Jon and I continued and walked into his room where we threw our bags down and got comfortable.

"I guarantee that when we go downstairs Clary will be eating." Jon laughed.

"What makes you say that?" I asked. Jon usually picked on Clary about how much she ate.

Sure she did eat a lot when they got home from school, but it wasn't as much as Jon acted like it was. Plus I'd begun to notice that she didn't really eat her lunch at school.

Who wouldn't be hungry by the time they came home after not eating for eight hours?

"She's a fatass and she always eats as soon as we got home from school." Jon said nonchalantly walking to the door.

I followed him downstairs into the kitchen where Clary was sitting on the counter eating a bowl of cereal.

"Hey fatass, I knew you'd be down here. Why do you always eat so much after school?" Jon said casually while he walked over to the fridge to grab us both a can of Mountain Dew.

Pain flashed through Clary's eyes but disappeared so quickly I wondered if I imagined it.

"I'm hungry after school, is that so bad?" Clary snapped out bitterly while she began to set her bowl down.

"You eat a ton when we get home." Jon snapped back.

Clary looked blank for a moment and she looked over at me. Her face was desperate.

I didn't know what to say to make this situation any better though, so I quietly stood behind Jon.

"I'm not fat!" She finally yelled.

Clary's cheeks were flushed with anger and she was breathing quicker now.

Jonathon laughed slightly before saying, "Maybe you should just lay off the snacks Clary." Then he headed up stairs with his soda.

I didn't follow Jon up the stairs immediately, but instead stayed down stairs to say something to Clary.

I wasn't sure exactly what to say to her, but surely I could think of something.

Maybe tell her that Jon is teasing her, that she's not fat at all, anything really.

Her eyes were beginning to water, and I opened my mouth to speak.

Clary didn't want to hear me say anything though and it was obvious when she yelled at me, "Go to hell and leave me the fuck alone!"

Hesitantly I walked over to the stairs, but before I walked up them back to Jon's room I turned around to look at her one last time.

She was glaring at me and her eyes were still glistening with unshed tears.

I debated whether I should say something to her or not, but ended up deciding it'd be best to leave Clary alone.

When I had walked up a few of the steps I heard Clary slamming things in the kitchen.

I took a step back down the stairs, but decided it would be better to just head back to hang out with Jon.

Clary made it clear that she didn't want me to say anything to her.

Clary ran up the stairs just as I was standing outside of Jon's room.

She didn't look at me as she ran into the bathroom and closed the door softly behind her.

Sighing I walked into Jon's room. He was sitting on his bed drinking his soda when I walked in.

"Dude what took you so long?" Jon asked skeptically as I sat down in his desk chair and kicked my feet up onto his bed.

"Nothing man I just took my time walking up here." I replied nonchalantly.

"Whatever." Jon shrugged.

I've never really been able to understand how Jonathon could be so mean to Clary. In families you're supposed to love each other are you not?

In my family there was no love. I couldn't really find it in this household either.

At the Lightwood's I'm not really sure. Maryse seemed to care enough, but Robert was a different story.

If Robert were to find out that Alec was gay and had a boyfriend he'd shit bricks for sure, but Maryse may have a kinder reaction.

Either way love seems impossible to find.

People are always talking about how they want to find their true loves and how they love each other and all that crap, but where do we ever see love?

How many teenagers have committed suicide because they weren't loved? How many parents have gotten divorced because the spark that was once there vanished? How many couples break up after saying they love each other?

Too many to count.

Love just seems impossible to me. So many things have contributed to my not believing it, and watching so many others falling apart is part of the reason why.

"Jace, you wanna play babysitter tonight?" Jon asked pulling me from my thoughts.

"For who?" I furrowed my eyebrows at him.

"Sebastian wants to come over so he can hang out with Clary tonight, but I have a date. Last I checked you didn't. You can stay the night too if you want for all I care. Help yourself to whatever. Will you babysit?" Jon was staring at me.

I didn't particularly want Sebastian and Clary to be alone together so I agreed.

Jon had a one night stand which wasn't unusual for him.

He clapped his hands together, "Great since you're watching her you get to tell her."

"You're fucking kidding me?" I asked incredulously.

"Nope. Now go tell Clary that her date will be here soon, and that you're watching them."

I gave Jon a hard glare as I stood up from his chair and walked down the hall to Clary's room.

Knocking softly I waited for a reply.

When I didn't get one I twisted the door knob and opened the door to find her sitting on the edge of her bed staring at the wall.

Hesitantly I walked over and sat beside her.

Clary didn't seem to notice me as she stared unseeingly at the wall.

Finally I poked her and her head snapped at me and her blank look vanished replaced with an angry glare.

"What do you want Jace?" She snapped wrapping her arms around herself protectively.

I gazed at her coldly, "You have a date and I'm watching you two while Jon's out. Sebastian will be here soon."

With that I got up and left her room.

* * *

><p><strong>I was at a contest yesterday, and as soon as I got home I passed the hell out. I'll be at contest every weekend until November, so no Saturday updates for you. I'll also be staying the night up at where our football game is this Friday because we have a contest there on Saturday, so I won't be updating then. <strong>

**I have a science project due soon and I have to get together with my partner in time not being taken up by the musical and band, so it's going to be hectic. I'll update as often as possible.**


	6. Chapter 6

CPOV

I dropped my head on the bed in exasperation.

Wasn't Sebastian supposed to be one of those super non-clingy guys?

He had a new girlfriend every week for crying out loud, and now suddenly he wants to actually act all couply with me?

I am pissed the fuck off.

Hopefully Sebastian will just break up with me after the party Friday.

This could be his way of messing with Jon, couldn't it? I don't know what he'd be screwing around over, but you know he could always be messing with Jon.

Sighing I glanced over at my clock. It was only four, why would Sebastian want to come over so early anyways?

I brought my hands up to my face and rubbed at my eyes before sitting back up and looking around my room.

After sitting on my bed a moment longer I stood up and walked to my closet to wear something at least a little presentable.

I looked in my closet for a minute before changing my mind.

If I don't like him then why the hell should I dress up for him?

As I was walking out of my bedroom I ran into Jon causing me to take a few steps back to regain my balance.

Jon just looked at me before speaking, "I'm going out, Jace is watching you and Seb. Don't do anything stupid Clary." Jon's tone held a note of boredom while he gazed at me.

"Like I would do anything stupid." I retorted crossing my arms defiantly.

"Dating Sebastian was stupid, dumbass!" He yelled at me.

I glared levelly at Jon before he sighed and turned to leave.

Feeling defeated I dropped my arms wrapping them weakly around my waist as I held my head down.

Just as I was turning around to walk into my room a hand gripped me gently by arm.

I turned around to be met with Jace's golden eyes burning intently into mine.

"You don't have to go out with him you know." Jace said softly as we stared at each other.

Feeling uncomfortable I dropped my gaze onto the ground where I began kicking the floor softly with my toe, "I wouldn't want to be rude." I muttered under my breath.

"Do you even want to date him?" Jace asked incredulously.

He brought his other hand up to grab my other arm.

I brought my gaze up to his face and just stared at him blankly while he tried to will me to say something with my eyes.

My eyes shifted from his face once again to the ground.

We stood there in silence until I decided to break it, "I should go get ready." I told him quietly.

I brought my head up to look at Jace an unknown emotion flitted through his eyes to quickly to be identified, but he dropped his hands from my arms.

"If you're sure." He said crisply.

My mouth formed a small frown as I looked at him. I nodded mutely heading back into my room to pass the time until Seb came over.

What were we supposed to do anyways?

I guess we could always watch movies, right?

Oh well, it's not my problem.

Walking over to my desk I grabbed my hairbrush and stood in front of the mirror while I brushed my hair throwing it back up into a pony tail.

I walked back over to my door and left my room to go wait downstairs for Sebastian to get here.

At first I didn't see Jace anywhere, but as I walked past the kitchen he was in there getting another soda.

Rolling my eyes at him I continued into the living room.

I had just sat down on the couch when Jace entered the room with his now open soda can.

I eyed him warily as he sat down next to me.

He kept his distance and didn't say anything. Neither did I.

Jace, finally getting tired of the silence, turned to me, "Why are you always dying your hair?" He questioned gazing at me thoughtfully.

Maybe I do it because I want people to notice me, maybe it's because I'm trying to make people understand that I'm not who they think I am, maybe I just hate my natural hair color.

Those are a few of the thoughts that went through my head, but I didn't dare say them out loud.

Instead I tilted my head to the side a little and looked at Jace.

He returned my stare, but didn't tilt his head.

After a moment I asked, "Why do you think?"

Jace stared thoughtfully at me before taking a sip of his soda.

"I'm not sure why," Jace reached forward and grabbed a strand of my hair between his pointer finger and thumb, "but I like it the way it naturally is." He finished softly letting my hair fall back into place.

Before I could respond there was a knock on the door and I jumped away realizing Jace and I had gotten closer to each other.

My cheeks were red and I pressed my fingers to them in an attempt to cool them off.

Jace winked at me before standing up and going to the door.

"Where's Clary?" Came Sebastian's dark voice.

"She's in the living room." Jace answered him coolly.

I pressed my fingers to my cheeks one more time before bringing them down and folding them neatly in my lap.

Jace walked in followed closely by Sebastian.

"Hey babe." Sebastian said grinning at me as he walked into the living room.

I gave him a small smile and stood up.

Sebastian opened his arms in indication for a hug which I hesitantly walked into.

His grip was tight, but not tight enough to hurt.

I wrapped my arms delicately around his waist while his held tightly onto my back.

Sebastian seemed very reluctant to let go, and he only let go when Jace coughed a little.

Seb placed a kiss on the crown of my head before glancing at Jace with a huge grin.

Jace just glared at Sebastian in return.

"So…" I broke the tension, "what do you want to do Seb?" I rubbed my hands down on my pants.

"There's a lot of things we could do babe." Sebastian winked at me and I felt repulsed.

"You want to watch a movie then?" I asked quietly.

Jace smirked at Sebastian while Sebastian glared at him.

He looked back at me and shrugged, "Whatever you want babe."

I gave him a small smile before going to look for a movie for us all to watch.

Jace and Sebastian remained quiet neither one of them saying a word.

Trying to pick hastily I grabbed a random movie off the shelf which ended up being _Children of the Corn _by _Stephen King. _

Well the book was by him at least and this was the movie adaptation that kind of sucks ass, like most movie adaptations do.

I stood up and hurried back to Jace and Seb.

Jace was standing there with his arms crossed over his chest glaring at Sebastian while Sebastian stood with his hands in his front pockets giving Jace a challenging look.

"Hey guys I have a movie." I said hesitantly trying to break their man down or whatever the hell guys call this.

Sebastian was the first to look away and Jace got a victorious look on his face. I rolled my eyes.

"Seb, could you put this in the DVD player please? I need to have a word with Jace first." I asked innocently.

Sebastian smiled, "Sure thing babe." He walked over and ran a hand over my head giving my forehead a quick kiss.

I didn't miss the glare he sent to Jace as he went to do what I asked though.

Once I made sure Seb was out of earshot I glared at Jace.

"You're not my brother so get off of his case." I growled at Jace.

His facial expression turned cold as he stared back at me, "I'm just doing what Jon wanted." Jace's voice was clipped as he said this.

"You can still let me enjoy myself." I snapped just as coldly crossing my arms over my chest.

"It's not like you even wanted him over here." Jace muttered under his breath.

I ignored him and turned around to go and join Sebastian.

Sebastian was sitting on the couch waiting for me to come and join him.

Internally I debated on whether I should sit on the other side of the couch, but ended up decided against it because Sebastian was now my boyfriend, I guess.

There was still space between Sebastian and I when we sat down, but we were still pretty close; too close for me to be comfortable.

Sebastian hit the play button on the remote which I assume he got when he put the DVD in the player.

"Would you like anything to drink?" I asked turning to look at Sebastian.

He looked down at me and smiled, "Sure."

I returned his smile, "What would you like? Jon has mountain dew if you want one." I offered.

"That'd be great. Thanks babe." He kissed my forehead.

I got up and walked into the kitchen to find Jace sulking in there.

I ignored him as I opened the fridge and bent down to grab one of Jon's Mountain Dew's.

When I stood up straight Jace was leaning against the counter across from me with his arms snaked over his chest.

I raised my eyebrows at him as I passed him.

He just stared straight ahead as I made my way past.

Just as I was about to exit the kitchen he spoke, "Remember don't do anything stupid." Jace's voice was bitter when he said it.

I looked back and rolled my eyes at him before walking away.

I took a few steps before I turned back and looked at Jace.

"You and Jon are both hypocrites, so I don't want to hear it from either of you." I told him crossly walking away before he could respond.

Looking at the TV I realized that Sebastian had paused the movie when I went to get him a soda.

Sebastian smiled up at me when I walked in.

I returned his smile as I handed him his soda.

"Thanks babe." He said just like he did earlier.

"No problem." I replied taking my seat next to him.

Sebastian draped his arm across the back of the couch and held his soda with the other one.

Jace came into the living room a few minutes later and sat down next to me.

We had a relative size couch, but the three of us were squished together in an uncomfortable way.

There were two recliners in the living room, but I doubt Seb would want me to sit in one and Jace obviously wasn't going to.

So the three of us sat squished for maybe the first ten minutes with no one speaking; Sebastian sat there silently sipping on his soda while Jace sat silently beside me and I was awkwardly squished between the two.

Sebastian seemed to finally notice my discomfort because he leaned over to whisper in my ear.

"You want to sit in my lap? We'd be less squished." He leaned back to look at me, and I stared back into his inky eyes.

Sitting on his lap was something that I'd prefer to not do, but it would piss Jace off and then I would be so awkward anymore.

Sebastian gave me a smirk seeming to notice my inner battle.

"Come on babe. I won't try anything."

I looked at him and nodded my head slowly.

Sebastian grinned at me and wrapped his arm which had been hanging over the couch around my waist pulling me closer to him.

He set his Mountain Dew down with the other one and picked me up slightly to set me down in his lap.

Hesitantly I leaned back into his chest and rested my head against his shoulder.

Sebastian wasted no time in wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me to his.

I placed my hands on top of his and looked at Jace in my peripherals to see him glancing at us skeptically.

"Isn't this better." Sebastian murmured pressing a kiss to my temple.

As much as I hated to admit it this was a lot better than the arrangement we were in earlier.

I nodded my head once to show him that I agreed.

"I don't think Jon would like this very much." Jace said abruptly.

I scoffed at him, "At least I still have my virginity." I shot back.

Jace's eyes widened slightly and Sebastian's arm gripped me a little tighter.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jace asked once he regained his composure.

"It means that me doing this," I indicated to me sitting on Sebastian, "isn't that bad compared to how much Jon sleeps around."

"Like Sebastian doesn't sleep around?" Jace asked incredulously.

"Like you don't sleep around Wayland." Sebastian shot back.

"Both of you just shut up and watch the movie." I sat up and looked at the two of them.

Jace got up and left and Sebastian just pulled me back to him as we continued to watch the show.

* * *

><p><strong>Well this chapter kinda sucks. I'm sorry. Writer's block is a complete bitch guys. :(<strong>

**On a random note something that just blew my damn mind: I post these chapters about four reviews each over a couple of days, I post a one shot and I get eight reviews within a few hours. I was just like "Ahhh. That's nice."**


	7. Chapter 7

CPOV

I must have dozed off at some point during the movie because the next thing I know is that I'm being gently shaken awake by Sebastian.

I was still sitting on his lap and my head was resting on his arm while he cradled me.

"Good to see you're awake babe." Sebastian smirked at me.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes a little and looked around the room.

The TV was off and Jace was still nowhere to be found.

Sebastian started rubbing his hands up and down my arms slowly.

Still fighting to keep my eyes open I turned my head to look at him, "How long have I been asleep?" I asked biting back a yawn.

"Since Jace left." Sebastian answered.

I nodded my head, still tired, Sebastian placed a soft kiss to my forehead.

"Look, Sebastian, I'm still kind of tired so how about I see you later?" I asked quietly.

I held back another yawn as I looked at him.

Sebastian didn't answer immediately and his hands stopped rubbing up and down on my arms as he stared at me.

It was an uncomfortable stare and I fought to not squirm under it.

"Fine." Was Sebastian's only answer as I stood up.

He stood up as well and walked away.

Moments later I heard the door shutting.

What was his problem?

Too tired to care I slowly made my way up the stairs.

As I was walking down the hallway to my bedroom Jace called out to me.

"Is your boy toy gone now?" Jace asked crudely.

I sighed and turned around to look at him not in the mood for anymore shit today.

"He's not my boy toy, but yes he is gone since you did such a great job watching us." I informed scowling at him.

I looked up to see Jace standing outside of Jon's room with his arms crossed over his chest.

We didn't say anything, and after another minute I turned to go into my bedroom.

"What are you doing?" Jace asked suddenly.

He sounded a lot closer now than he had been.

I turned my head to see him now about two feet in front of me.

Glaring I answered, "I'm taking a nap. What do you think I'm doing? It doesn't concern you."

"As long as you're not sneaking Sebastian into your room then it doesn't concern me." Jace snapped out.

"I'm not a freaking slut. Damn." I growled.

I turned my head and hit my forehead on the door once before turning to look back at Jace.

He looked like he was about to say something, but I spoke up, "Could you just get off my case?"

Jace stared at me for a minute, "No."

"Excuse me?" I asked scrunching my face up in confusion at him.

"I said 'no.'" Jace reiterated, "you're Jon's sister and I told him that I'd watch out for you while he was gone. Jon still cares about you even though he can be a jerk and I'm just trying to keep that promise to watch over you." He explained.

"Whatever." I muttered pushing through into my bedroom.

Without a second thought going through my head I laid down and went to sleep too tired to care about arguing with Jace right now.

* * *

><p><span>JPOV<span>

After Clary told Sebastian and I to shut up and watch the movie I got up and went to Jon's room to get away from the two of them.

I'm not sure why I was so pissed off about Sebastian coming over in the first place.

Maybe it's because I don't want Clary to be another one of Sebastian's play toys.

Surely Jon saw this coming. How could he not have?

If he would have just kept his damn mouth shut Clary more than likely would have said no.

But of course Jon had to speak up.

Clary's always been defiant; she has been for as long as I've known her.

Jon used to try and boss her around and she'd turn around and do the exact opposite thing he asked, so of course when he said that she'd tell Sebastian no she'd turn around and say yes.

She didn't seem that objective to Sebastian though when he was here.

I stood outside Clary's door deciding whether or not I should try and continue to talk to her.

Jon should be back soon, and then I'd be free to go home or do whatever I wanted to do.

Jon wasn't that great of a big brother to Clary.

Their parents weren't ever really here either; however, it never appeared to affect the two of them.

I rarely saw my dad after we left him.

The one time I finally convinced my mom to go with me to see him I lost both of my parents.

_-Flashback-_

"_Mommy will you please come with me to visit daddy?" I begged my mother tugging on her pants leg. _

"_No sweetie not today; I'm sorry." My mother smiled down at me sadly. _

_A frown formed on my face as I looked up at her expectantly, "Mommy please? You always say not today, but that day that you will doesn't seem to be coming anytime soon. I don't know understand why you can't just come with me? What's so wrong with daddy?" I asked stubbornly. _

_Mommy looked down at me and appeared to think about how to answer my question. _

_I flopped down on the floor in devastation at her not coming again. My eyes full of sadness waited her answer. _

"_Okay Jace, I'll come with you this once" I couldn't help the smile that consumed my face at her words, "but you must realize that your daddy and I don't get along anymore." Mother kneeled down so she was on eye level with me, "Your dad did a bad thing and I can't be with him anymore, okay sweetie?" _

"_No, I don't understand." I told her honestly. _

_Does this have to do with the cheating thing they were yelling about the other night? I don't know why it's so bad. I've cheated on my tests before and they helped me get good grades._

_I know you're not supposed to, but is daddy cheating really that bad of a reason to leave him? _

_Fear struck through me: what if mommy leaves because I cheated on my test? _

_I looked up at my mom with wide eyes. _

"_What's wrong honey?" She asked cupping my face with both of her hands. _

_There was a crease between her eyebrows as she frowned at me. _

"_Are you going to leave me to?" I asked hesitantly. _

_I didn't want to be alone. I want my mommy to always be with me. _

"_No, sweetie, why would I leave you?" Mom asked confused. _

"_Well you left daddy because he cheated, and I've cheated too, mommy. I'm so sorry please, please, please don't leave me too. I won't do it again. I'm sorry mommy." I rushed out. _

_I was panting a little after saying all of that and stared at my mommy worriedly. _

_To my surprise she got a small smile on her face, "Oh sweetie, of course I won't leave you! Daddy's cheating was a different type of cheating baby. It's a worse type of cheating, but you're too young to understand about it right now. One day, when you're old enough, I'll explain to you. Okay baby?" Mommy asked me sweetly. _

"_Okay mommy." I answered relieved that I wouldn't be left. _

"_Are you ready to go see your father now sweetie?" Mommy asked me while she began to stand up. _

_I nodded enthusiastically at the prospect of mommy and daddy and I being together again. _

_Grabbing mommy's hand I started pulling her out to the car so we could get there as soon as possible. _

_As we were driving to dad's house mommy seemed to get tenser the closer we got to his house which didn't make any sense. _

_Was she still upset over his cheating? She forgave me quickly. _

_The type of cheating that daddy did couldn't have been that bad, could it? _

_Before I knew it we were parked outside in the driveway of dad's house, and I quickly unbuckled my seatbelt throwing open my door and rushing outside. _

_When I turned around, mom was still sitting in the car. _

_I ran over to her door and opened it for her, "Come on mommy, let's go see dad! You said you would you can't just leave me now!" I frowned up at her. _

_She looked down at me and smiled, "I supposed I can't." _

_Mommy took her time unbuckling her seat belt, turning the car off, and joining me. _

_As soon as her car door was closed though I grabbed her hand and began pulling her towards the front door. _

_Feeling really excited I knocked on dad's door quickly and was practically bouncing while I waited for him to open the door. _

_When he opened the door, there was a smile on his face that fell as soon as his eyes met mommy's. _

"_Daddy aren't you happy to see mommy?" I asked confusedly tugging on his hand to get him to look at me._

_Dad looked down at me and gave me a tight smile, "Of course son." _

_His smile looked more like a grimace the longer he held it. _

"_Well can we come in and you and I can play?" I asked while I waited for dad to let us in. _

_This seemed to snap daddy out of whatever phase he was in because he was opening the door for us like he always does for me. _

"_What would you like to do Jace?" Daddy asked me kindly after he shut the door behind us. _

"_Hm… Could we watch a movie and then play games later?" _

_Maybe if we watched a movie the tension between mommy and daddy would go away sooner than if we played a game. _

"_Of course son; what would you like to watch?" Dad was looking at me and I dropped mommy's hand moving away from her to grab my dad's. _

_Daddy and I started walking towards the living room, and I turned around to see mother falling silently behind us with her hands clasped in front of her. _

_I thought about what I wanted to watch for a minute; there were so many options that I wasn't sure what to watch! _

"_Daddy?" I asked looking up at him. _

_I finally decided which movie I wanted to watch. _

"_Yes?" He looked back down at me with a smile on his face. _

"_Can we watch Thomas The Train?" _

_Dad let out a little laugh, "Of course son." _

_I beamed at him and sat down on the couch while he pulled out the movie. _

_Mommy stood in the middle of the living room looking around. _

_I smiled at her. Silly mommy you're supposed to sit when you watch the movie. _

_Hopping up from my spot on the couch I walked over to her and grabbed her hand. _

_Then I proceeded to bring her to sit on the couch to my right. _

_Daddy walked over after the movie started playing and sat down on my left. _

_We all sat there watching the movie peacefully in silence. _

_That peaceful silence soon ended though when the movie had finished and the credits were rolling on the screen. _

"_Jace?" Dad asked me. _

"_Yes daddy?" _

"_Can you go play outside, so I and your mother can have a word?" _

_I frowned up at dad and then looked at mommy who was giving daddy a mean look. _

"_I won't be for long, son." Dad said reassuringly. _

"_Well, okay, but not long because it's my day to spend time with you!" _

_Dad smiled at me, "It is your day to spend time with me so we'll make it fast." _

"_Okay." I smiled happy with the fact that it wouldn't be taking them too long to have their adult talk. _

_I hopped off the couch for the second time that day and turned around. _

_I walked over to mommy and gave her a hug, "I love you mommy." I said quietly. _

"_I love you too sweetie." She smiled at me and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. _

_Usually I didn't tell my parents I loved them, but I felt like right now they needed to hear it. _

_There was just a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I needed to say it to them. _

"_I love you daddy." I said softly as I gave him a hug. _

_My dad didn't reciprocate the feelings, but gave me a hug. _

_Instead of saying "I love you too" he whispered, "To love is to destroy, and to be loved is to be destroyed." _

_Then he kissed the top of my head. _

_As I was outside swinging on the swing set in the front yard I heard a crackling noise. _

_I hopped off the swing set and turned to look at the house. _

_To my absolute horror daddy's house was on fire and it was spreading rapidly. _

_Neither of my parents were outside, so that meant that they were inside. _

_My heart began to race and tears began to prick my eyes. _

"_Mommy?" I screamed. _

"_Daddy?" I screamed again. _

_I kept yelling their names over and over hoping that they'd come outside. _

"_Mommy, daddy!" I yelled helplessly as my tears began to fall._

_Distantly I could hear sirens going off. _

_I was close enough to the house that I could feel the heat of the flames against my face. _

_Sweat was dripping down my forehead and mixing with my tears. _

_Running closer to the house to see if I could find them I tried yelling again. _

"_Mommy, daddy, please come outside! Please, I love you! You said you wouldn't leave me mommy! I'm sorry for cheating! Daddy you said it would only take a minute come outside! Come outside, I need you! Please!" _

_I started to run up to the porch, but tripped over a rock and skinned my knees. _

_It stung a lot, but it didn't hurt as much as the constricting pain on my chest that was getting tighter and tighter with each passing second. _

"_Please come outside! I love you! Mommy? Daddy?" I begged and begged for them to come outside again. _

_Pushing myself up off the ground I started running towards the house again. _

_The fire was spreading rapidly and in my heart I knew that if they weren't out by now they weren't going to come out of their alive at all. _

_Before I could run any closer to the house I was being picked up and carried away. _

"_Mommy! Daddy! I need my mommy and daddy! Put me down!" I screamed horrifically at the person who had me captivated. _

_I began kicking, and thrashing, and punching my captor. _

_My kicking must have worked because when I kicked him one more time he groaned and dropped me. _

_The man was tall so I fell and hit the ground hard, landing on my wrist. _

_I screamed in pain at the fire that shot down my arm, but I knew it was nothing to how mommy and daddy must feel right now. _

_Pushing myself up with my left hand I began running again. _

_I didn't trip this time and thought I would be able to make it to mommy and daddy's rescue only to be caught by somebody else. _

_The smoke that was rolling off the house was stuck in my lungs and I began coughing. _

_My hair was matted with sweat. _

_I began screaming again though. _

"_Mommy, daddy! I love you, please don't die, I need you! Don't leave me, please!" I cried and screamed. _

_Fighting my captor was useless though. _

_As I looked around I saw police officers, and fire fighters, and an ambulance with medics running around. _

_Suddenly the fight left me and I knew the situation was hopeless. _

_I gave up on screaming and let the tears fall down my face silently. _

_Why did I have to bring mommy with me today? Why couldn't mommy and daddy have just stayed in their old home together? _

_My captor walked me over to one of the two ambulances parked on the curb. _

"_Son, what's your name?" My captor asked as he set me down. _

_I held my right arm awkwardly because my wrist still hurt, but now it was hurting a lot more. _

_Trying to fight back the tears I answered, "J- J- Ja-ce." I hiccupped out. _

"_Well Jace the paramedic here is going to check you out okay?" He asked kindly. _

"_What about mommy and daddy?" I wailed. _

_I tried to jump off the ambulance to run towards the house again, but the man holding me grabbed me and set me back down. _

_He gestured quickly to the paramedic and told her something to quiet for me to hear. _

_Next thing I knew there was a prick in my arm and then everything went black. _

_All of my pain was gone, and my brain wasn't thinking. _

_-End of Flashback-_

Shrugging off the horrendous memories of that day I knocked on Clary's door.

When she didn't answer I slowly pushed the door open and peeked in.

She was asleep on her bed lying on her back.

Clary looked a lot more at rest that way than she had when Jon was here and when she was awake this morning.

I wonder what thoughts go through Clary's head when no one's looking.

I wish my thoughts didn't go through my head.

I could still feel the heat of the flames and feel the sweat or my forehead now.

I was still able to feel the soot on my face and the pain of breaking my wrist.

To this day I could remember how it felt to even scrape my knees.

That was only the beginning of a life of hell though.

When it happened, I thought it couldn't get worse.

As I grew older, to my dismay, it got a whole lot worse.

That was only the beginning of a life of hell.

The last thing that my dad said to me that day stayed in my heart from that moment on, and now I still remember it.

_To love is to destroy, and to be loved is to be destroyed._

* * *

><p><strong>I feel that I got my groove back on towards the end of the chapter. The beginning was all bleh. : God. **

**So, I've been trying to decide what to put on my profile, what are some thing you guys would like to me to answer on my profile? You can PM questions or review them, whatever. **

**I was away all weekend so I was unable to get on here until today, sorry for the wait guys. **

**Enjoy your chapter!**


	8. Chapter 8

CPOV

I was standing outside the school waiting for the morning bell to ring so we could all go to our class.

This morning I was actually in a decent mood and felt happy as I talked with Isabelle and Simon.

The rest of our groups whereabouts were unknown to me, but that was perfectly fine.

Simon, Izzy, and I were talking about our classes and somehow we ended up on the topic of art.

"God, I hate our art class so much! It's so stupid." Simon groaned.

I looked at him for a moment taken aback by his words.

"What did you just say?" I asked walking up so I stood directly in front of him.

"Art is stupid. I don't see why we have to take it." Simon grumbled.

I stood up on my tippy toes because I'm short and tried to get on eye-level with Simon, "Take it back or I'll kick your ass. Art isn't stupid." I growled out at him.

"I'm not going to lie." Simon replied scowling at me.

I started bouncing up and down to try and stay eye-level with him, "I'm going to fuck you up! I love art, bitch."

This wasn't the first time that Simon had dissed our art class and it was really beginning to piss me off.

Why couldn't they just respect one of the things I loved?

So often it feels like my opinions don't really matter they're just kind of there with no one giving a shit about them.

"Well I think art is stupid." Simon retorted monotonously.

I glared at him standing still on my tippy toes.

He stared back at me and then without any warning I brought my hand up and lightly slapped his cheek.

"Remember: I'll fuck you up. I love art." I spat out.

Before Simon could reply the bell rang dismissing us to our first class of the day.

Izzy and I walked together in silence.

I guess Izzy understood that this was one of those moments when I appreciated silence more than I appreciated anybody's words.

Izzy sat next to me as our teacher began talking about electromagnetic waves, or EMW for short, which is what our lesson had begun on yesterday.

"Today I want to show you how different sound frequency works. Does anybody remember what Hz is?"

Mrs. Furlow looked over the class waiting for someone to raise their hand and answer her question.

It was a simple answer Hz was the wave frequency.

I certainly wasn't going to answer the question though simply because I hated speaking in front of all these judgmental bastards that we call "classmates" or "peers".

Mrs. Furlow continued to scan the room expectantly.

When no one answered she sighed and answered her own question which, in fact, I had the correct answer to.

"Okay, well I have this app and I'm going to play different wave frequencies to show you how it works. It'll be a better method for some people as opposed to trying to understand from me standing up here and talking."

Mrs. Furlow plugged her iPad into an overhead speaker at the top of the classroom and began to play different wave frequencies.

"As I turn this up your eardrums begin to vibrate faster flexing back and forth. When the frequency gets to high then your eardrums can't keep up with the sound waves that bounce around causing you to be unable to hear the sound anymore."

Everybody just stared at her blankly.

I rolled my eyes: idiots.

The rest of the class progressed with our teacher talking about how as we get older we can't hear as high pitches as teenagers and stories about wave frequencies and how they used it in Japan to keep teenagers from loitering by their shops, and then how teenagers turned around and set them as ringtones that way their parents wouldn't know they were calling.

I'm not really sure what this has to do with science.

People in my class began to ask really stupid questions and I just started ignoring them after the fifteenth time of: "So you can't hear this frequency?"

God, my classmates were so stupid.

Lunch could not come soon enough.

I hated the group I sat with, but it would be better than having to suffer through listening to my science class babble on about nonsense.

When they did this it really got on my nerves and aggravated me.

* * *

><p>I kept my head down as I made my way to lunch.<p>

As I was nearing the doors I was stopped in my tracks by a hand sliding smoothly into mine.

I turned my head towards the unknown person in bewilderment ready to punch them when I realized it was just Sebastian who was wearing a smug smile.

"Hey baby." He said kissing my head.

"Hey." I muttered back.

"Are you sitting with us at lunch?" Seb asked casually as we entered the cafeteria.

"No." I answered glancing up at him.

He just looked down at me.

"I guess football isn't really your type of subject to talk about anyways." He muttered.

Sebastian dropped my hand and walked over to grab a tray of food.

The fuck is his problem?

I don't want to sit with them big deal.

Rolling my eyes I walked over to my table and sat down at my usual seat.

Maia and Izzy were talking while Magnus and Alec conferred softly.

Simon didn't say anything to me as I sat down and folded my arms and set them on top of the table.

It has started to become a reoccurring situation of them ignoring me, and me sitting here silently somehow excluded.

Maybe sitting with Sebastian wasn't such a bad idea after all.

In my seat I turned around to look at his table and saw Jace glance over at my table; his eyes locking with mine for the briefest of moments, before looking away quickly.

Immediately I decided against sitting with them.

I don't want to be with Jace, nor do I want to be with Jonathon.

"Where's your lunch cow?" Magnus asked breaking me from my thoughts.

I looked up at him to see him staring at me expectantly.

Izzy and Simon glanced over at me as well as if noticing for the first time that I hadn't brought my lunch.

"I forgot it this morning." Was the quick lie that flew from my mouth naturally.

"Well, I guess that isn't so bad for you then." Magnus said.

Maia turned her head and smirked at me.

I looked back down when Maia decided to voice her opinion as well, "It's not like it'll make a difference on her weight."

When I looked back up there was a malicious grin on her face.

Magnus looked at her thoughtfully for a moment.

Alec hadn't looked at me since Magnus spoke up to harass me, and his head was still down as he silently listened to the insults being thrown at me.

"Well I could always use the food." Magnus finally responded to Maia.

They were smiling smug smiles at each other.

Simon and Izzy were glancing at each other from across the table.

I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks as Maia and Magnus turned their attention back to me.

"Why do you even sit with us?" Maia asked harshly.

"I sit here because Simon and Izzy are my friends too." I said softly.

"Well why don't you just leave us alone? We don't want you to sit with us."

I looked at the five faces at the table. Only two of those five met my gaze and it was Maia and Magnus looking at me with scorn.

Without another word I stood up and left.

Nobody would listen to me if I had said anything anyways.

I'd just be being overdramatic if I said that Maia and Magnus were assholes.

Walking out of the cafeteria with my head down a single tear slipped down my cheek which I rubbed away roughly.

I wasn't going to cry because of some assholes not liking me.

But it wasn't just them who didn't like me.

A majority of people don't like me, and what if Magnus and Maia were right?

Maybe I was too fat for people to like me.

Maybe I just wasn't good enough.

Was I to imperfect to be liked?

Slowly I made my way into the court yard and sat down on one of the benches and looked around.

Everybody looked so happy and care free; laughing at, more than likely stupid, things that their friend had said.

I looked around at the girls who were milling about the courtyard.

They were all thin.

They were all the perfect weight.

Maybe Magnus and Maia were right.

I looked down at my lap and closed my eyes.

Suddenly I felt a jostle next to me on the bench and snapped my eyes open to be met with Jace's golden eyes staring back at me.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly.

"Shouldn't you be with your friends talking about pointless things?" I snapped ignoring his question.

"I usually don't engage in their pointless conversations. Shouldn't you be with your friends talking about things?" Jace asked again.

"What friends?" I snapped out.

"You know my adopted siblings, and their significant other and Maia." Jace said in a duh tone.

Crossing my arms over my chest I glared at him.

Jace watched me expectantly.

I guess he was waiting for me to respond to what he said, but I wasn't going to.

They didn't stand up for me, and Maia and Magnus wanted nothing to do with me.

"You know Rat Face." Jace continued.

I still remained silent not saying a word.

"Wow," Jace started leaning backwards into the bench seat, "you must be really pissed at them to not say anything when I refer to Rat Face."

I glared at Jace, but refused to open my mouth to say anything.

Why should I defend them when they didn't defend me?

Jace's eyes widened a little bit and he leaned forward scooting closer to me.

"What did they do today Clary?" Jace asked softly.

"I don't want to talk about it." I muttered.

Jace stared at me for a moment not saying a word.

"Do you want me to drive you home?"

I looked at him but didn't say anything.

"You could just skip for the rest of the day. I could tell Jon you weren't feeling well and then you wouldn't have to deal with everybody until tomorrow." Jace offered.

He waited for me to answer.

I could just go home and not have to deal with anyone for the rest of the day.

The idea of it was tempting and I wanted to say yes.

Would anybody care if I just disappeared for the rest of the day?

They probably wouldn't even notice until the teacher spoke up to ask where I was.

Without fully comprehending what I was doing I began nodding my head up and down slowly.

Jace got a small victorious smile on his face and stood up.

He offered me his hand to help me up which I ignored and stood up on my own.

His smile fell a little, but he didn't say anything.

We both walked out of the school in silence to his car.

The silence began to get to me as we were pulling out of the school parking lot, but I didn't say anything.

Sometimes silence just feels like it's suffocating me and this was one of those moment when the silence felt like it was suffocating me.

Jace glanced over at me while he was driving and opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it.

Finally I had enough of the silence.

"Just say whatever it is you want to say." I snapped glaring at him.

Jace raised a brow at me and kept driving.

We both fell back into silence.

"Why are you dating Sebastian?"

Jace's question startled me.

What was I supposed to tell Jace?

If I told him 'because Jon doesn't want me to' I would seem like a child which I wasn't.

That's really the only reason I can think of as to why I was dating Sebastian.

The real question is: why is Sebastian dating me?

I'm fat and ugly and nobody wants to date someone like that.

Jace was staring at me as I processed my thoughts.

"Why not?" Was the answer I finally sufficed for.

"Do you even like him?" Jace asked incredulously.

Did I? No.

Was I supposed to? Yes.

"Yes."

Jace looked at me skeptically like he knew I was lying, but he didn't say anything else as we pulled into my driveway.

"Thanks for the ride home." I mumbled.

To my surprise Jace turned off the car and began getting out of his car.

"Well come on Red, get out."

I opened my door and got out glaring at him.

"Don't call me Red and what do you think you're doing?" I snapped.

"Well considering I just drove you home and everybody else is still in school I'm going to hang around until Jon gets home." Jace reasoned.

"Whatever."

I turned on my heel and walked up to the front door and unlocked it.

Without saying anything to Jace I went up to my bedroom and slammed the door.

I looked at the mirror that hung on my closet door.

Turning to the side all I could see was fat.

I lifted my shirt up to below my breasts and looked down at my stomach.

Taking my hands I began pinching the fat that was on my belly and found to much there.

I let my shirt fall back down.

Maybe this was why people didn't like me.

Nobody liked a fatass.

I silently opened my door and hurried to the bathroom across the hall.

Turning around I locked the door and avoided looking at myself in the mirror.

I picked up my toothbrush from its place in the holder on the bathroom sink.

Slowly I walked over to the toilet and lifted the lid up.

I kneeled down in front of the toilet and took a breath.

My heart was racing in nervousness at the moment.

Not putting another thought into it I stuck the toothbrush, handle end, down my throat and moved it around until I felt myself begin to gag.

Quickly I moved the toothbrush as I began to puke.

It didn't sting like I thought it would.

There also wasn't an abundance.

It tasted weird in my mouth. Kind of like a sickly sweet taste except the sickly part was really very sickly.

I stuck the toothbrush down my throat again and puked a little more.

I continued to do this until my breakfast was all upchucked into the toilet.

My breathing was rapid and I felt lightheaded.

My stomach felt lighter too though.

As I sat on the floor it sank in.

I just purged.

* * *

><p><strong>So happy late All Hallows Eve. I had a football game on Hallowee and froze my ass of. Band kids think I'm dating my best friends cousin now and I'm going to get lectured tomorrow. -_- <strong>

**We had a competition yesterday too and got sixth place out of 33. Fucking biased judges piss me off. They gave first place to the wrong band (my band shouldn't have gotten first), but one of them was amazing. Judges were really biased towards one school this year so they've been getting first and second. **

**Band is fun. **

**I hope you enjoy the chapter. This is the first time I've been able to have time to actually update. **


	9. Chapter 9

CPOV

Feeling slightly shaky I decided to stay on the floor.

After a moment, or two, I felt a little more stable and, using my hand to help myself up, I got up off of the floor.

For whatever reason I did feel like I weighed less, I felt lighter.

Shaking my because I knew it was just an allusion I went to the bathroom door and opened it.

Not wanting to bump into Jace I ran into my bedroom shutting the door quietly behind me.

Purging left a sickly sweet taste in my mouth that I didn't like at all.

Maybe it got better the more you did it?

I walked over to my bed and flopped down.

* * *

><p>"Wake up Clary. I'm not going to wait for you to get ready." Jon called.<p>

Groggily, I sat up in bed and rubbed at my eyes.

The clock next to my bed read 7:10.

Slowly I made my way around my room picking out an outfit from closet, brushing my teeth, and grabbing my bag.

It took me about ten minutes to do all of that and by the time I got down the stairs Jon was waiting for me impatiently by the door.

"Come on Clare." He said gruffly.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the house and to his car.

We rode in silence to the school which I didn't mind at all.

I'm not really sure why Jonathon is in such a rush this morning because he could usually care less about if we even _went_ to school.

When we pulled into the parking lot I got out of the car and walked towards my locker like I usually do in the mornings.

I never wait for Jon to be read to walk inside with him.

It's not like he wants me to anyways, so we both walk in at separate times and go our separate ways.

I kept my head down as I made my way through the halls ignoring the glares that some of the girls shot me for dating Sebastian.

Thank God it was finally Friday.

After the party tonight I'll probably just break up with him because all I wanted was to prove a point to Jon which has been proven.

Izzy wasn't by my locker this morning which I was kind of shocked about if we're being honest.

What I was shocked to see was Jace walking up to my locker as I grabbed the books I needed for the next few classes.

He walked up to me casually and leaned against the locker beside mine.

I didn't say anything and turned around to leave when Jace reached out and grabbed my forearm pulling me back to him.

He turned me around and I proceeded to glare up at him.

"What do you want?" I asked harshly.

Jace scratched the back of his neck, "Do you want to… sit with me at lunch?" He asked hesitantly.

My eyes widened a little bit and I looked at him in shock.

When I didn't answer Jace began shifting on his feet uncomfortably.

"I don't particularly want to sit with Jon, so no." I said coolly.

With that I turned once more only to be pulled back to Jace.

"We could eat in the court yard just the two of us." He offered.

"You're not my boyfriend, Sebastian is, so stop trying to act like it." I snapped out.

Jace's face fell and then became devoid of any emotion at all.

I didn't stop to think about it.

Instead I turned on my heel to get away and not be pulled back again this time.

* * *

><p><span>JPOV<span>

As I sat in class I silently fumed and tapped my pencil vigorously earning dirty glares from a few of my classmates.

What Clary said to me this morning got under my skin?

I'm not her boyfriend, so why do I care so much?

I care about Clary because she's Jon's little sister, isn't that good enough reason?

Unlike Jon I was trying to protect Clary because to be honest Jon is sucking ass at it.

That's how many of my families were.

They were shitty at taking care of me and shitty at caring about me.

That's good enough reason to want Clary to be happy isn't it?

But then Sebastian came along and started dating her. He's going to break her heart if she lets him in; I know he will because he's done it to countless girls.

Clary did have a point I suppose, I broke many girl's hearts too, but none of them mattered.

She could break hard if Sebastian gets to her and I don't want to see that happen to her.

I have a feeling that if Clary falls she's going to be one of those girls that falls _hard. _

The thought of Sebastian shattering Clary made my fists tighten into balls.

I couldn't stand the thought of seeing her that broken because her brother decided to be a dumbass.

Suddenly my pencil snapped and brought me back to class.

A few of the kids sitting around me turned to look at me curiously.

My facial expression smoothed over and I just stared at the board as the teacher continued to go on about whatever she's been talking about this whole time.

My pencil snapping didn't faze her at all as she continued as if it never even happened.

She didn't even so much as glance in my direction.

The people who had turned to look at me soon turned back around and faced the teacher again realizing that nothing was really happening around them.

* * *

><p>At lunch I didn't see Clary enter the cafeteria.<p>

When Sebastian came over and sat down he didn't say anything about her and just talked to the team about the game tonight.

I looked over to the table she usually sat at to see Izzy, Maia, and Simon talking.

Alec was whispering something softly to Magnus and gesturing to the empty seat beside him.

That was the seat that Clary usually sat in.

Quickly I finished my peanut butter sandwich and stood up to leave.

"Where are you going Jace?" Sebastian asked suddenly.

"To go and find your girlfriend." I informed him coolly.

Sebastian's face twisted up for a minute before smoothing back into a friendly expression.

"She wants to be alone Wayland, so leave her be." Sebastian ordered.

I rolled my eyes.

Like he could possibly boss me around.

I turned to leave again when he called out, "She's not your girlfriend Wayland, she's mine so back the fuck off."

My steps faltered for a minute and I stood still facing away from them.

There was that phrase again.

_You're not her boyfriend!_

My mind was yelling at me to leave her alone, but I needed to go check on her and make sure she was okay.

I took a breath and continued walking away from my group to try and find my friends baby sister.

* * *

><p><span>CPOV<span>

I hurried out of class so I wouldn't run into Sebastian on the way to lunch, but as my luck would have it I ran right into him, literally.

He reached out swiftly and grabbed my arms to keep me from falling down.

"Hey babe." He said calmly and smiled at me.

"Hi." I muttered under my breath as I tried to duck around him.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him, "Where are you going?" He asked.

"To the court yard, is that a problem?" I asked raising my eyebrows at him.

"Why don't you come eat with me?" He questioned.

"I don't like who you sit with, and I want to be alone." I said beginning to get frustrated.

"Why don't I eat with you?" He continued.

"Why don't you just piss off?" I asked sweetly and smiled at him, "Now leave me alone. I said I wanted to be by myself." I snapped out.

He looked at me in shock and I shoved his hands off of me.

I glared as I pushed past him and into the court yard where I went to sit by the tree I usually sat under when I wanted to be alone in my solitude.

Not many people were in the courtyard since the majority of them were inside eating.

That was fine with me; it meant less people for me to worry about bothering me.

I leaned my head back against the tree and let out a puff of breath.

The party today could not come any faster because all I wanted to do was break up with Sebastian so he wouldn't try to be my _boyfriend_.

Damn my stubbornness and rebelliousness sometimes.

That's just always been a bad trait of mine.

I looked at the people who were milling about in the courtyard and suddenly felt a pang of loneliness deep in my chest.

At first it started out as a deep ache which soon grew more persistent and noticeable.

All these people out here belong somewhere.

They belonged where they are now happy with their friends and being stupid together.

I don't have any friends to do this with anymore.

That's when it really hit me.

I was all alone now with no one on my side.

There was no one to care for me or talk with me, but it didn't start yesterday. This had gradually built up until yesterday they officially kicked me away and then I got slapped in the face today.

Slowly a fat tear rolled down my cheek.

Where I was sitting no one could see me, so I let the tear slowly down my cheek until it was a steady fall of multiple ones.

I sat quietly as the tears made their way down my face.

I closed my eyes and let the pain and hurt from the last few months wash over me.

At least I was until someone plopped down beside me.

My eyes snapped open to glare at Jace.

He just looked at me and didn't say anything before grabbing me and pulling me into him for a hug while I cried.

I didn't think about it, just let him do it.

So we sat there during lunch with me crying and him holding me soothingly.

* * *

><p><strong>Wow, I know. : It's been a while and the chapter's short and kind of sucks ass. I'm sorry. \: I just wanted to give you guys something. **

**I'm sorry.**


	10. Chapter 10

JPOV

I wasn't sure why Clary was crying.

I didn't want to ask her why she was crying because maybe if I said something she'd snap out of it and shut me out again.

Something happened between her and Sebastian before lunch.

Clary's small body shook with tears while I held her.

It was hard to comfort a person when you weren't exactly sure what you were comforting them for.

So I sat there with Clary and rubbed my hands up and down her arm in what I hoped to be a soothing manner.

She didn't say anything as we sat there.

She didn't look at me.

She just sat there and cried.

Clary and I were never the closest of friends, but she'd always shut everyone out from what I had noticed.

She shut me out too.

The way she did it though I don't think she even realizes that she's shutting people out and that makes it that much more frustrating.

I'd never said anything to her about it though.

Nobody else said anything about it to her.

I would ask her later though. I wasn't going to continue to let her shut me out.

I wanted to help her.

So I sat here silently holding her while she cried.

Absently I noticed that from where we were sitting nobody could see us right here.

I wonder if that's why Clary picked this spot to sit when she comes out here alone.

Clary's shaking gradually faded away as we sat there.

She didn't pull away from me immediately, but kept her face hidden in my shirt.

After a few more moments she slowly sat up and pulled away from me.

Her beautiful face was red and splotchy from crying.

I could clearly see the path that the tears had fallen on her damp cheeks.

Without thinking I placed my hand on her cheek and brushed my thumb softly against her pale skin.

Her face scrunched up and she pulled away from me.

Clary brought her hands up to her face and wiped at her eyes roughly in what appeared to be a painful manner.

I winced at it.

She looked away from me and quietly said, "Damn I hate crying in public."

I wasn't sure how to respond so I just sat there with her while she kept her face hidden in her hands.

When she looked up her face wasn't as blotchy, but it was still red.

I waited for her to say something to me.

Clary didn't say anything though. She just stared at me while I stared back.

Eventually the bell rang and she pushed herself up and left me alone.

* * *

><p><span>CPOV<span>

Sebastian picked me up to take me to the party.

In his car he held my hand, but didn't say anything to me except for when we got there.

"I'm going to drive you home after the party, okay?" Seb asked quietly.

"Okay." I replied emotionlessly.

We both got out of the car and he grabbed my hand pulling me into the house with him.

For the first hour we stayed close together.

It was weird because we didn't really have anything to talk about.

There was no chemistry whatsoever between me and Sebastian and us dating was really pointless.

A lot of people were drunk by the time I got separated from Sebastian.

Almost everywhere you looked someone was drunk.

I didn't get anything to drink because I wasn't exactly looking forward to getting drunk and fucking everything up and regretting it when I wake up tomorrow like the majority of these people will.

Instead I walked aimlessly around the party with nothing to do.

Part of me just wanted to leave right now, just walk anywhere.

Part of me wanted to find Sebastian and tell him to take me home.

Part of me wished that I never agreed to date Sebastian in the first place, so I wouldn't have been here anyways.

As I walked around I eventually found Jon.

I didn't mean to find him.

I was walking around when I bumped into him.

He had a drink in his hand and was dancing with some girl.

"Watch it fatass." He growled at me before turning away.

I didn't say anything to him.

Instead I walked around some more to try and find Sebastian to take me home now.

Walking around I had looked through nearly every room.

There were a few places I hadn't looked yet, but I just couldn't find Sebastian anywhere.

Eventually I did manage to find him.

Not to my surprise he had some leggy blonde pushed up against a wall and was making out with her.

I'd be lying if I said it hurt me to see that.

The only thing that this situation gave me was an excuse to break up with him.

Without an ounce of sorrow I turned around and began heading towards the door.

I didn't want to be at this stupid party any longer.

The house was becoming suffocating and I didn't like it.

To my surprise when I went outside Jace was sitting alone on the sidewalk.

I walked over to where he was sitting and sat down next to him; I made sure that I kept a respective distance between the two of us.

Jace didn't look at me when I sat down; instead he looked across the street.

We sat in silence for a few minutes until I finally broke it.

I casually looked over at him and asked, "Why are you out here shouldn't you be with your date?"

Jace still didn't look over at me.

"She wanted to start drinking and I'm not really a big fan of alcohol." He shrugged his shoulders while still staring across the street.

His answer surprised me.

I thought Jace was like every other guy on the team who liked to get completely shitfaced and fuck random girls.

The one thing I didn't expect was for him to be out here because "alcohol wasn't his thing".

Jace looked over at me and gave me a small smirk, "I'm not the guy you and everyone else think I am, sweetheart. I'm not really into getting plastered."

When I didn't respond immediately Jace turned away from me to stare blankly in front of him without saying another word to me and the smirk fell.

I wasn't sure what to say to him.

From what I've seen of Jace lately everything I thought he was and did hasn't been him at all.

"Why don't you like alcohol?" I asked him quietly.

He didn't say anything.

I looked over at him to see that he was staring hard at the ground by his foot.

Jace appeared to be lost in thought.

* * *

><p><span>JPOV<span>

Did she really expect me to tell her why I wasn't a fan of alcohol?

That's not really a part of my past that I like to divulge to anyone.

My past belongs to me and it belongs to me only.

I could feel her intense gaze on my face as I stared at the ground by my shoe, but I couldn't find it in myself to look up at her.

Should I tell her why I wasn't that big of a fan of alcohol?

Probably not, it's not like she cares anyways.

_-Flashback-_

"_I said go to your fucking room, now!" my stepdad yelled at me as I stood at the bottom of the stairs. _

"_But I want to see if Annie is okay." I said stubbornly. _

_Annie was my stepmom. _

"_No, Jace! Listen for once in your damn life! Now go to your room." He roared at me. _

_As an eleven year old I didn't understand what was wrong. They had been good to me until this point. _

"_What if Annie isn't okay though?" I questioned doubtfully. _

"_You're fucking mother will be fine." James growled at me. _

"_No she won't! You're going to hurt her again, aren't you?" I yelled back at him standing up as tall as I could. _

"_Jace, just fucking listen!" _

_His breath had that funny smell that dad's had when he came home and mom accused him of cheating. _

_It was a bad smell, and I didn't like it._

_James stumbled back a little and glared daggers at me. _

"_You really want to see Annie?" He asked quietly. _

_His sudden change in demeanor made me slightly nervous, but I wasn't going to let him hurt Annie. _

_I nodded my head bravely at him. _

"_Well come on then boy." He sneered at me grabbing me by my hair. _

_He pulled me to his bedroom where I saw Annie laying on the floor. _

_Her eyes were closed kind of like she was sleeping. _

_James pushed me and I stumbled a little, but stopped right in front of Annie. _

_I placed my small hands on her cheeks, "Wake up Annie." I whispered to her quietly. _

_Annie didn't stir and I looked up to James to ask him why she wouldn't wake up. _

_When I turned my head to look at him, he through a bottle at me which narrowly missed and shattered on the floor beside me. _

"_You little bitch. Are you happy now you got to see Annie?" He sneered. _

_I nodded my head slowly unsure of myself. _

"_Now go to your fucking room." He ordered. _

_Slowly I stood up and moved away from Annie. _

_He teetered on his feet and stumbled as I moved around him. _

_Once I was out of his bedroom I ran up the stairs and to my bedroom where I looked the door and crawled under my bed trying to get the sight of Annie out of my mind. _

_-End of Flashback-_

Later on I had found out that was only to be the beginning of many nights when James would come home in that weird manner.

When I was old enough to understand they told me he was drunk.

I remember the last night I was them.

_-Flashback-_

_I was sitting down reading a __Magic Tree House__ book with Annie when the front door slammed shut. I jumped out of my chair and looked at Annie who had a look of worry on her face. _

"_Jace, why don't you go upstairs sweetheart and head off to bed?" She said quickly and quietly. _

_It may have sounded like a question, but I knew that it wasn't. _

_She wanted me out of the kitchen before James came into the kitchen. _

_I nodded my head without saying a word and turned to leave, but I didn't leave fast enough. _

"_Or the child can stay in here and have a talk with us Annie." James said coolly. _

"_Dear, it's getting late and he has school tomorrow. I think it would be a good idea for Jace to just go off to bed." Annie said her tone pleading with him to listen. _

_My back was turned towards them until I heard a slap. _

_I turned around immediately to see Annie holding her cheek a few steps away from James. _

"_He stays down here, you got it?" He asked harshly. _

_Annie nodded her head with tears now falling down her face. _

_Slowly I walked back towards where they were standing. _

_James' breath was rancid and I could smell cigarettes from where I was standing. _

_James stared at Annie not sparing a glance towards me to see if I was actually there. _

"_You've been spending time with Jace, huh, Annie?" He questioned quietly. _

"_We were just reading." She answered quietly her eyes cast down. _

"_We were just reading." He mimicked her, "I don't give a shit. I told you to leave that thing alone. Why are you so disobedient to me Annie?" He questioned her. _

"_He's our child." Annie cried helplessly. _

_Faster than I could see James had slapped her once more across the face. _

"_Shut the fuck up!" He yelled. _

_I stood there frozen in shock. He'd never really attacked Annie before. _

_Annie looked over at me and her eyes pleaded with me to leave quietly. _

_I nodded my head and quietly went upstairs to my bedroom. _

_For a while I could hear her screams sounding through the house until I finally fell asleep with my bedroom door locked and a chair placed right against it to try and block the monster out. _

_-End of Flashback-_

It turns out that the reason Annie had been screaming was that James had murdered her.

He was drunk and completely gone that night when he came home.

It horrified me.

After that night I was wary of alcohol.

Clary was still staring at me expectantly.

I glanced over at her and said quietly, "We all have our reasons for how we feel."

* * *

><p><strong>I'm not going to give a long ass excuse for why I haven't updated. Here it is quickly: finishing the play, ending marching season, and as of now I'm sick, and I have a big science project I've been working on. <strong>

**I hope you guys like this chapter.. give me some feedback let me know how you feel. **

**I know it's not Thanksgiving, but I doubt I'll update tomorrow so Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. I hope you have a good one. **


	11. Chapter 11

CPOV

I looked at Jace skeptically for a moment wondering whether I should push the topic or not.

The faraway distant look was still in his eyes, and I assumed it would probably be better to leave him and the topic alone for now.

Jace stared at the ground appearing to be lost in his thoughts while I stared out across the street.

After a few moments the silence began to get to me and I started fidgeting where I was sitting.

"Jon's drunk." I said abruptly.

Jace didn't raise his head to look at me he shrugged his shoulders and said, "I don't doubt it. Most the guys on the football team are party animals."

I thought again of something that I could say to him.

"I found Seb kissing another girl." I said quietly.

This time Jace did look up at me. His eyes narrowed and he took in my facial expression.

I guess he was trying to decide how upset I was over the ordeal which in all honesty I still wasn't that upset over because I still plan on breaking up with the bastard.

Jace's eyes softened, "I'm sorry Clare." He whispered.

I shrugged my shoulders, "It doesn't matter to me."

Jace brought his hand up and rested his palm against my cheek.

I didn't do anything. I sat there and stared back at him.

He didn't say anything else about the situation to me.

Instead he sat there with me and hesitantly began to rub his thumb back and forth across my cheek softly.

Neither of us said anything while we sat there.

I said nothing for fear that Jace would snap out of his… mood and then ignore me.

Jace has been the only person who's even been remotely nice to me lately.

I got kicked out of my group at school, Seb just cheated on me, Jon hates me for some unknown reason, but Jace has been kind to me.

I'm not sure how long we sat like that.

The two of us could have sat there for second, minutes, hours, but eventually Jace dropped his hand and stood up.

When he stood up he had his back to me.

After he stretched he turned towards me and offered me his hand.

"Do you want me to drive you home?"

His eyes bore into mine waiting for the answer.

I bit my bottom lip and looked back at the house where my brother and boyfriend were.

They would probably get pissed if I left without them, but more than likely they're going to crash here tonight since they'll be to plastered to get home in one piece.

I returned my gaze to Jace to see him staring at me expectantly.

"I'd like that." I told him quietly.

Jace nodded his head and began walking away.

I assume I was supposed to follow, so after a moment I ran after him trying not to lose him.

When we got to his car he opened the passenger door for me.

As I got in I looked up and gave him a weird look as he closed the door.

After he shut my door he went around the front of the car and got in the driver's seat and buckled himself in.

"You know I can open and shut my own door." I told him while looking out the window.

Jace placed the key in the ignition and looked over at me; I could see it in the window.

"You know what I did was the gentleman thing to do." He replied evenly.

He started the car and pulled away from the party.

"I still could do it on my own." I mutter crossing my arms across my chest.

Jace didn't say anything back to me, but he did sigh.

I watched as the trees passed by us with intense fascination to try and distract myself from the tense awkwardness that was probably building with each minute a word was not said between us.

Suddenly Jace grabbed my hand pulling me from my thoughts.

I turned my head to look at him and met his golden gaze.

He was looking at me like he was waiting for me to say something.

"Well?" He asked.

Jace turned his eyes back onto the road for a few moments before turning to look back at me.

I tilted my head to the said a little, "Well what?" It came out a lot harsher than I intended.

Jace seem unfazed by this and simply repeated what I assumed to be what he asked earlier.

"Are you breaking up with Sebastian since you know… he cheated on you?" Jace cocked an eyebrow at me.

"No shit I'm breaking up with him." I snapped.

"There's no need to be feisty Red. It was a simple question" Jace said calmly.

"Well did you really think I was going to stay with someone who cheated on me?"

What kind of person does he think I am? Yes, I just want to be fucking cheated on because that's the only thing I could ever want in my life.

I love being cheated on.

Jace turned his gaze back onto the road, but he continued holding onto my hand.

"Some people still think there's good in those who cheat on them. A lot of people think they love their significant other and refuse to think that they would do such a thing." Jace answered nonchalantly.

What caught me most in what he said to me was: 'A lot of people think they love their significant other…'

"Do you not believe in love?"

Jace glanced at me quickly with a blank expression.

"Do you believe in love?" He shot back.

As Jace stared at the road I thought about his question.

Growing up you hear about all those fairytales full of love and all those movies, and books, and just everywhere really you'll hear about love.

I guess I never questioned whether it existed or not; I just always assumed love was real.

There has never been a doubt in my mind as to whether it was or not.

"Yes, I do believe that eventually you will fall in love with someone." I answered him, "You don't believe in love?" I ask incredulously.

Jace glances at me again, "It's hard to believe in love when you've seen everything I've seen." He answers darkly.

I furrow my eyebrows at him.

"Does the way Jon act towards you feel like love Clary?" Jace asks suddenly.

I open my mouth to answer, but he cuts me off, "Does Sebastian cheating on you feel like love?" He asks.

Once again I go to reply, but Jace was not yet done, "What about your 'friends' leaving you like that? Magnus and Maia, Izzy and Simon. Do you think that they love you?" He snaps out.

Jace's change in demeanor startles me.

"It was a simple question Jace…" I trail off and look out the window with tears in my eyes.

The only reason why they don't love me is because I'm not good enough.

I'm too fat for them.

My hair used to be too red for everyone.

I'm just not good enough for anyone to actually love me.

I look down at myself and am repulsed with the amount of fat I see on my body.

I hadn't really eaten all day, but somehow I was still fat.

Maybe weight loss takes a little bit of time.

Who am I kidding though? I'm not going to be able to resist eating because I'm starving.

Suddenly that night pops into my head.

Crouching down in front of the toilet and throwing up what I had eaten. I could get people to love me. I could be good enough for everyone and not have to starve.

All I'd have to do is throw up what I did eat and soon enough people would begin to like me again. My friends would take me back at lunch and maybe then Jon wouldn't be calling me a fatass.

I didn't realize we were at my house until Jace opened my door for me.

"I could still do it myself." I snapped.

I rubbed at my eyes to make sure my tears wouldn't fall and shoved past him.

"A simple thank you would suffice!" Jace hollered at me.

I turned around and looked at him, "Do you see any fucks being given?" I snap.

Jace shrugs his shoulders and catches up to me. That's when I notice he's got his car turned off.

Great, now he plans on staying with me.

I roll my eyes and unlock the front door with my key, and leave it open for Jace to enter.

When he's entered I hear him close the door, and I call over my shoulder, "You know where the food is and you know where Jon's room is."

"You're not even going to stay down here and talk to me?" Jace calls as I reach the stairs.

I turn around to give him a hard glare, "No Jace. I want to be alone so respect that."

Without giving him time to reply I turn on my heel and leave up to the bathroom.

I pull the scale out and step on it to weigh myself.

The numbers are too high for my taste.

130.

Maybe if I lost thirty pounds people would like me more.

Quietly I put the scale back in its place and grab my toothbrush off of the counter.

I walk over and crouch down in front of the toilet pulling my hair away from my face.

For a moment I hesitate.

Is forcing my toothbrush down my throat to puke really a good idea?

Maybe if you were only a hundred pounds you wouldn't have to… My mind taunts me.

Shrugging off any other doubt I stick my toothbrush down my throat and lean over the toilet.

The sickly sweet taste of my puke fills my mouth as a few contents come out.

There's not a lot and I try again.

Mostly liquid came out and I guess that would make sense because I haven't eaten today.

Now that I have this trick though I can it and not feel guilty for it because I have a simple way to get rid of those extra calories that I'll obtain.

After going through the process a few more times I stand up on shaky legs and rinse the puke off my toothbrush.

Once my toothbrush is clean I rinse my mouth out.

That doesn't help to get rid of the sickly sweet taste though because it's still in my mouth, just not as bad.

I make my way out of the bathroom and head downstairs to get myself a glass of water.

When I get downstairs I notice that Jace is sitting on the couch watching the movie _Anastasia. _

Are you fucking kidding me?

Rolling my eyes I walk into the kitchen.

I grab a glass out of the cabinet and get some water which I slowly sip on.

My arms are still shaking and my heartbeat is erratic.

As I'm setting my glass in the sink I'm startled when Jace touches my back.

"Are you okay? You look really pale." Jace says as he places both of his hands on my face.

I scowl at him, "I'm fine. Leave me alone."

Jace just stares at my face a moment longer before letting me go.

"If you say so Clary." Then he turns around and walks away.

As soon as he's gone I turn and run back up to my room into the safety of my bedroom.

Why can't anyone see that I'm hurting?

Why can't people see that their words do affect me?

He wasn't asking because he noticed me be upset I just looked weird and that's why Jace asked.

Well fuck him. And fuck everyone else too.

Surely there's some way to make people see that I'm hurting right?

I walk over to my desk and grab a pair of scissors off of my desk.

Maybe if I bleed they'll notice that I'm hurt?

I hesitantly put the blade to my skin and slice.

The pain isn't a good kind of pain.

I hiss at the burning sensation it leaves. It stings like a bitch and I don't like it at all.

Maybe it's only the first one that hurts?

I slice away three more times, but they all hurt as much as the first one did.

Why the hell would people do something that hurt this much?

Obviously this wasn't the way to get people to see how hurt I was.

I place the scissors down and go grab a washcloth from the bathroom to hold on my bleeding wrist.

Would anybody care?

* * *

><p><strong>I didn't really get a lot of feeback on my last chapter. Should I stop writing the story?<strong>

I hope you guys like this one.


	12. Chapter 12

JPOV

I'm standing in the hallway waiting for Jon and Clary to show up at school.

Those two are always showing up late for whatever reason.

When Jon shows up I notice Clary silently walking to her locker and people moving out of her way like they usually do.

The mornings never really seem to change at all: I stand here with the team, Jon shows up late, Clary keeps her head down and walks to her locker, people move out of her way, and then Izzy used to show up.

I guess Izzy won't really be showing up now though because she and Clary aren't technically friends anymore because of Maia and Magnus.

I didn't pay attention to what Jon and Sebastian were saying about the party on Friday because it really wasn't all that great.

Maybe if you wanted to get wasted and probably screw a few random girls it was fun.

Whatever.

My attention was on Clary's wrist as she went to open her locker.

When she stretched out her arm to put in the combination her jacket sleeve got pulled down and revealed three red scratches.

I hadn't seen Clary since that moment in the kitchen when her face was pale and she got all defensive.

Jon was snapping his fingers in my face bringing me out of my musings.

"Dude, did you take Clary home or not?" Jon asked me.

I returned his gaze, "She wasn't having any fun and was ready to go home. You and Seb were drunk off your asses, and I was ready to go home as well. Yeah, I did take Clary home."

Jon glared at me for a moment.

"I wasn't drunk off my ass." Jon defended himself, "Besides, it's not like you've never gotten wasted before."

Seb opened his mouth to say something, but shut it as soon as he opened it.

"Unlike you and Seb, I have never gotten wasted." I said flatly.

Images of some of my old foster homes flashing through my head.

Adopted fathers hitting my adopted mother or me.

Adopted mothers getting drunk and then bringing home men and sleeping with them, which I didn't understand at the time.

Adopted parents getting into arguments and then drinking away their problems and passing out without so much as a second thought about me.

I shook my head to clear away the memories and looked at Jon.

He was staring at me with a thoughtful gaze. I assume he was trying to recall a time when I had actually drank.

Sebastian was staring at both of us in apprehension.

Jon finally met my gaze and nodded.

"You're right Jace, I've never seen you get plastered." Jon looked thoughtful for a moment, "Why is that?"

"I'm smart enough to know not to." I replied coolly.

"A little drink never hurt anyone Jace. Everybody gets drunk at least once in their life. Why don't Seb and I take you out this weekend and get you drunk?" Jon raised an eyebrow at me in challenge.

What he doesn't realize is how a few drinks can affect someone's life.

I know all about how a few drinks can kill someone, end up with someone being abused, how a few drinks can leave an eight year old child forgotten and left to fend for himself.

Jon and Sebastian will never realize that though.

Most people won't realize that at least not until it's too late.

"No, I don't want to." I answered.

Jon didn't miss a beat, "Are you too scared of being drunk?" He challenged.

"No, I'm logical enough to not want to get plastered." I growled.

Sebastian seeming to have lost interest in the conversation said, "If the pansy-ass doesn't want to get a drink then don't make him. He can just be an uptight dick for all I care."

Jon looked at Sebastian and then back at me.

I rolled my eyes and walked off before either one of them could say something else to me.

My brain didn't process where it was taking me.

The only thing it knew was that it was taking me away from Jon and Sebastian.

I snapped out of my mindless walking when I ran into someone and fell on top of them.

Looking down I realized I had fallen on Clary.

"Get off of me!" She shouted at me and tried to push me away.

Her attempts at getting me off were feeble. I was too heavy for her to push off.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

She must have hit her head on the ground pretty hard.

"No you ass, you're suffocating me! Now get off!"

Realizing I _was _indeed suffocating her I quickly got off and held my hand out to help her up.

She glared at my hand and then placed her own on the ground on either side of her to push herself up.

I grabbed her upper arm and tried to help her stand up.

She just shook me off.

Once she was standing she glared at me.

"Why are you so pissed off today?" The words tumbled out of my mouth before I even realized I was saying them.

Clary's eyes widened momentarily as if surprised that I would say that to her before they narrowed at me.

"Why don't you just leave me alone?" She growled out.

Clary didn't give me a chance to say anything to her.

She just turned around and left.

I looked over to where Jon and Sebastian were standing to see them looking at Clary in interest.

I suppose the news has yet to be broken to Sebastian that his ass is getting dumped.

They both looked back over to me with their eyes narrowed as if to ask me what the hell just happened.

In response to them I raised my shoulders and shook my head before heading off to first period.

* * *

><p><span>CPOV<span>

My head was killing me.

When Jace ran into me in the hallway my head snapped back and now a bump is starting to form there.

Tenderly I lifted my hand to the bump and winced when my fingers came into contact with it.

Well this completely sucks.

He didn't have to be such a prick to me afterwards.

"_Why are you so pissed off today?" _

What gives him the right to ask me that? I'm no more pissed off than I usually am.

Scowling I crossed my arms over my chest and slouched lower into my seat.

A few of my classmates looked at me curiously until I glared at them.

Then they went back to minding their own business.

My head was pounding and it felt like it was on fire. In other words I just feel like complete shit right now.

Ah, fuck it.

I grabbed my bag and stood up to leave the classroom.

Just as I was making my way out of the door the teacher showed up.

"Miss Clarissa, where do you think you are going?" She asked.

"I'm going to the nurse because some prick ran into me and gave me a major headache." I replied.

"You're going to be tardy for class." She said firmly.

"It's not like you planned on teaching us anything today anyways." I snapped before pushing past her into the hallway.

I didn't look back as I made my way slowly down the hall.

Each step I took sent a new wave of daggers piercing into my skull.

Finally I couldn't take it anymore and slumped down onto the floor holding my head in my hands.

This did little to soothe the pain, but it was better than walking.

So I sat there cradling my head for a while. I'm not really sure how long I sat there, but I stayed there until I felt like I could walk again.

When I felt like my head could take it I pushed myself off the floor and slowly started towards the nurses office again.

It took me a while, but I eventually made it.

"What's wrong dear?" The nurse asked standing up from her desk.

"Somebody ran into me in the hall and I slammed my skull into the floor." I informed her quietly.

Loud noises were killing my head.

"Here, sit down so I can have a look at it."

She led me over to the bed that's in all nurse's offices and had my sit.

She gingerly touched my head and I flinched away from it.

"Well you certainly do have a goose egg there." She mused to herself, "Tell you what, I can give you an ice pack and some Ibuprofen and let you reset here for a while."

"I'd like that." I said kindly and smiled up at her.

Just because I was a bitch to my peers didn't mean that I don't know how to show respect to those around me who deserve it.

The nurse went over to a cabinet on the wall opposite me and got out the medicine which she handed to me.

"There are some cups right there and you can get some water out of the sink." She pointed to the sink that was in the corner of the room.

Slowly I got off the bed and walked over there to get some water.

After I filled up my cup I took a sip to wet my throat and then took both of the pills.

When I got back to the bed, the nurse was already there with an ice pack in hand.

"Here, just hold this to the bump on your head and you should feel better after a while." She said to me kindly.

I thanked her once more and laid down on the bed closing my eyes.

* * *

><p>I left the nurses office when lunch came around.<p>

Before I left I handed her the ice pack and thanked her again before I left.

She smiled at me and told me to come back if I start feeling bad again.

I told her I would.

Now I needed to find Sebastian and tell him that I was ending things between us.

It shouldn't be that hard to find him at lunch. He's always sitting in the same spot.

When I walked into the cafeteria nobody paid any attention to me, so I quietly made my way over to where Jon and Sebastian sit.

When Seb saw me walking over to them he stood up and grinned.

"Clary! Finally sitting with us?" He asked.

I just stared at him with a blank expression on my face.

"No, Seb, I'm breaking up with you." I told him.

The guys at the table stopped talking and looked between the two of us curiously.

Seb's gaze hardened as he stared at me.

"Why are you breaking up with me?"

His question seemed normal, but underneath he wondering tone I could hear the challenge in his voice to actually go through breaking up with him.

"Well let's see, at the party you got completely shit faced and then you cheated on me. I saw you making out with another girl, and in my book being cheated on is a suitable cause to break up with someone." I told him firmly.

Some of the guys started muttering things to each other and the rest just stared at us.

"You're not breaking up with me Clary. Everybody makes mistakes."

I smiled sweetly at him, "You see that's where you're wrong. I can break up with you if I want to and you can't stop me from doing so. You cheated on me. You're the one who fucked up. Deal with it."

Sebastian looked dumbfounded as he stared at me.

I gazed back evenly.

Eventually he lost his cool and slammed his hands down on the table.

This caused a lot of people to snap their attention to us.

Sebastian's face was red and pissed. He abruptly left the cafeteria bumping me roughly with his shoulder as he passed me.

It hurt, but I wasn't going to cry out and let him have the satisfaction, so instead I bit my lip and waited for him to leave.

Once he was gone Jon yelled at me, "What the hell was that Clary? Wh-"

I turned around and left before he could finish whatever lecture he was going to scream at me in front of everyone.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry it took so long. School is getting ready for semester tests and my Geometry teacher decided to give us three tests in two weeks. -_- I missed half the stuff we learned because of the musical so it was hectic. <strong>

**I hope you all are enjoying you're holiday season and I will try to update soon.**


	13. Chapter 13

CPOV

Many people in the cafeteria looked at me in curiosity.

Those who weren't looking at me in curiosity were staring at me in disbelief.

Nobody had ever seen Jon yell at me, and right now he was yelling words pointlessly at my back to let me know he was pissed off.

On the outside Jon seems like a good brother, but he isn't.

Honestly what brother tells their baby sister that she's a fatass and harasses her day and night about it? Not a good one.

I didn't turn around to look at Jon. Instead I raised my hand and left only one finger up as I continued to walk away from his screams.

Nobody had ever dumped Sebastian before, so that might also be why people are staring at me.

Who wouldn't want to date Sebastian?

Me.

I get that he's supposedly one of the hottest guys in school and he's on the football team so he's perfect, but he's kind of an ass.

All he wants is to use girls like toys and I'm not going to set my feelings up to be hurt like that.

It kind of surprises me that other girls can't see that that is the game he's playing.

It is so blatantly obvious to me it amazes me that other people can so easily miss it.

Maybe the girls in our school are just those kinds of people that like to be hurt. I don't really know, but it's stupid and pointless.

Finally I exited the cafeteria leaving Jon and his shouts behind me.

No longer were my fellow classmates staring at me in shock.

I stood aimlessly outside the doors of the cafeteria.

The library was not a place that I really wanted to go.

If I go into the courtyard Jace will probably follow me, and I don't want him bothering me anymore than he already has.

Surely the girls bathroom is mostly vacant now, right?

Most girls are sitting in the cafeteria, or the courtyard, probably flirting with guys that they find attractive.

Rolling my eyes I headed for the bathroom.

My stomach started growling in hunger.

I placed my hand over my stomach in an attempt to quite it.

It didn't work.

As I walked the hunger pains that I had been feeling throughout the day began to grow worse.

"Dammit." I muttered under my breath as I continued to walk.

When I got into the girls bathroom I went into the stall that was for handicaps.

Our school didn't even have any girls in wheelchairs so it's not going to a burden to anyone that I'm in here.

I pull my backpack in front of me and grab the sandwich Jon made me take today.

For whatever reason he decided that I needed to bring my lunch today, so he made me a simple peanut butter sandwich and stuffed it in my bag.

Slowly I ate the sandwich.

The longer you take to eat something the more full you feel.

The sandwich stuck in my throat as I ate and all I could think about was how many calories were probably in this.

Eventually I finished the sandwich and threw away the Ziploc bag that I had brought it in.

I stood up from where I was sitting and walked over to the toilet bowl.

Now that I was in front of it I got down on my knees to kneel in front of it.

These toilets were fucking nasty. Just the smell and looking into it already had me wanting to gag.

It didn't take much effort to binge into the disgusting toilet.

I continued until I was sure I had puked everything up.

Once I was done I immediately flushed the toilet and backed away from it in all its disgustingness.

I don't understand why people get so dehydrated from bingeing.

Maybe I'm just a weird person, but I don't get that out of it because I make myself puke.

The disgusting sweet taste is in my mouth as I grab my bag off the floor where I left it.

The sweet taste itself makes me want to puke all over again.

Quickly I hurry over to the sink and turn the water on.

The water is cold as I place my hands under the faucet to cup some water.

I suppose it would be easier to just walk into the hall and go the water fountain, but it would also look weird if I was walking back and forth between the fountain and the bathroom to rinse my mouth out.

Shaking my head I bring my cupped hands to my lips to begin rinsing.

I swish the cool water around for a few seconds before spitting it back into the sink.

This barely made a difference in my mouth.

So I continue to rinse my mouth out with these small sips for a few minutes until the sickly sweet taste is practically gone.

After I finish rinsing my mouth I walk over to the paper towel dispenser and dry my hands off.

As I'm walking out of the bathroom I run into someone.

The person places their hands on my arm to steady me and I look up to glare at them.

"What the hell?" I shout.

Then I realize that it's Jace who I've once again run into today.

"You need to stop making it a habit of running into my quiet literally Fray." Jace tells me as he raises an eyebrow.

"Would you piss off? I already ended up in the nurse once because of you!" I cross my arms over my chest as I glare up at him.

My stomach is churning slightly and the sickly sweet taste still inhabits my mouth.

I don't feel good and Jace is pissing me off.

Jace's eyes widen slightly when I tell him that I ended up in the nurse's office.

"You had to go to the nurse?" He asks incredulously the smirk that usually is plastered to his face vacant.

I roll my eyes, "I didn't have to, but I did prefer to get the piercing pain out of my skull." I snap harshly at him.

"I didn't mean to run into you this morning Clary. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and I just kind of ran into you."

"I don't really give a damn, Jace." I say gruffly.

Jace reaches his hand up and scratches the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry." He says quietly.

"That's cool." I respond coldly.

Jace sighs, "You don't get this whole apology thing do you?"

"I don't really give a damn, Jace." I repeat myself firmly.

What about that is so hard to understand?

He ran into me. I went to the nurse. I don't give a damn. That's all there is to it, so could we just drop it?

No, no we can't because this is Jace we're talking about.

I shift on my feet uncomfortably as the churning increases.

All I want to do right now is sit down.

My head is slowly starting to hurt once again.

Jace was saying something to me, but I couldn't focus on what he was saying anymore.

I just don't feel good at all.

Maybe I'm overstressed?

Sometimes when you get too stressed out things like this happen right?

Or maybe it's because I haven't eaten a lot lately and lack of food is taking its toll on me.

Note to self: eat and binge, don't starve.

Then maybe I'm just out of it because of how hard I hit my head on the floor.

I'm not really sure.

"Clary!" Jace yells.

My attention snaps to him and I realize that he's standing in front of me and holding onto my upper arms tightly.

"Are you okay?" He asks me… worriedly?

I nod my head yes, but everything starts spinning around me.

If it weren't for Jace holding me up right now I'd probably be on the ground.

"Clary? Are you sure that you're okay? Clary…" Jace's voice slowly begins to fade away from me as everything else around me turns black.

* * *

><p><strong>I know that this is a short chapter. I'm sorry. <strong>

**I'm sorry I haven't updated, I've been feeling like shit. I've been with my cousin a lot lately because I got dumped after my concert Tuesday. So I'm sorry if this chapter is shit. I'll try to update before Christmas. **

**If I don't have a merry Christmas guys.**


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